Ask the Ice Moms: Do We Have to Choose between Synchro and Solo Figure Skating?

I agree with all the above, but most especially that pushing a child to specialize to the exclusion of other sports or activities at an early age is just not a good idea for so many reasons. Now, if I child is very driven and wants to specialize and has his/her own pro-con list in mind, then as a parent, I'd be more inclined to allow it – although, still with some reservations and watchfulness. Even at the lower level of skating we're at, there is a risk when a child's identity is too bound up in only one or two statements of “This is who I am”, especially when a big chunk of who they are can be taken away from them via a fracture or MCL tear, etc..

I like what someone else said about considering any choice a trial, and re-evaluate after a few weeks – whether that's dropping synchro or continuing with it. I'd agree upon a few weeks because any change – even eventual positive change – comes with it's own challenges and plateaus. Writing down weekly and monthly goals is a big help and a lets kids, parents, and coaches see that whatever the plan (synchro or no) there is a direction being headed into in a positive way.

And just a note – oddly – we have the opposite perception at our rink. We have very successful synchro teams who work very hard, and it's the individual skaters who are being told (by other parents, the club ) “If you want a chance at Nationals, you should go with synchro. No really successful individual skaters will ever come out of our rink.” The coaches are supportive and enthusiastic about individual skaters, but the club culture and sort of general hangdog attitude about individual skaters placing well at Nationals is frustrating at times.

This is a tough choice. Although as others have pointed out not a permenant one, she could probably rejoin synchro later… My daughter did one year of synchro at a young age but then we made a joint decision to just do singles skating. She just liked singles a lot better & for us it was partly a $$$ decision, we really couldn't afford to do both seriously. I wouldn't trade her year on synchro, she made a lot of friends (and so did I) that we wouldn't have met otherwise… At age 14 she has now finished her moves & is going to start ice dance next month. I have seen a friend of hers do this though, girl was doing both synchro & singles pretty seriously for a few years, she then was getting close to landing her double axel & decided to quit synchro to do singles only. She started practicing a lot more both on ice & off ice and got burnt out in a year – she really missed her synchro friends & went back to the team the following year. Not to say that this would happen to your daughter, but just an example. I would say it really depends on how much your daughter likes synchro. Some kids love every aspect of it, others are really only doing it for the friends. Some kids are too nervous to compete singles, others thrive on it. If she's only doing it for the friends then you may want to consider only doing singles, synchro gets more expensive as you go along, with greater time commitments too. Remind her (as I reminded my daughter) that she can still spend time socially with these girls, invite them to parties, etc. & that she doesn't have to be on the team to remain friends with them. And of course she will still see them at the rink! If she is completely comfortable competeing solo & not 100% devoted to synchro then you may want to consider just taking one year off from synchro & see how it goes. Just beware of burn out from too much singles practice. If she is 100% devoted to synchro then I would let her continue on as she has been if you both can handle the schedule & you checkbook can handle the bills! :~) (FYI – the only “bad” habit I have ever noticed in synchro girls is the short measured “synchro” crossover – it looks choppy & weird in a solo program – but the only girls I have seen this in are usually girls that don't do solo practice time very often.) Depending on how mature your daughter is I would try to talk to her about it & “feel it out” – see how she feels about the whole thing… best wishes!

We are struggling with this decision too, but my dd skates Juvenile for synchro. She is 9 and is really really coming along with her individual freestyle jumps etc as well as her core skating skills.

The thing I am struggling with is the time and the money- like you say, she could get back some time on Saturday, and Wednesday night, not to mention some winter weekends- right now all summer and all winter is filled with competitions and practice.

Our synchro team is sort of falling apart right now- many girls have left and we may struggle to get the needed 12 and that bothers me as to have my dd sacrifice so much extra time (and my money) for a team that is just adding warm bodies (not necessarily great skaters) just feels wrong.

I do feel she has several years to go back and still skate Juvenile being so young- I am going to need to decide ASAP. While she does have a say, the final decision lies with me as I am still her mom and I still know best.

PS- her coaches are not trying to force her- that would probably bother me.

I think 7 is awfully young to be focusing on one event. At my club most of the young skaters are required to participate in more than one discipline (ie, they have to do dance; we are a big dance club…) in order to improve their overall skills until ages 10-12 depending on when they start skating. I don't think synchro would hurt your daughter's ability to do singles, and it is probably making her overall skating skills stronger. If there aren't other concerns (money, traveling time, etc.), then I don't see that trading 4-6 hours of team practice for 2 hours of singles practice will be as beneficial to her at this age as powering around keeping up with the 11-year-olds. If your daughter feels that she wants to focus on one event at this stage, I would advise to stick with singles now and possibly go back to synchro later. If your daughter doesn't want to decide or seems heartbroken at the idea of picking one, maybe in a few years it would be easier to decide on one discipline.

“While she does have a say, the final decision lies with me as I am still her mom and I still know best.”

I agree – and again, probably an entirely different topic – but while I like to help my daughter develop goal-setting and time management skills, as well as support her in what she wants to do, there has to also be the understanding among all involved that as a parent, I see an entirely different Big Picture that involves home life, school, siblings, etc. I try to cushion any “no” as much as possible and offer reasons, but at another point, kids are kids. I know my daughter would spend an hour solid beating up her body practicing jumps that aren't going well or go on the ice when she is really too tired, and and some point, Mama sees the big picture, and Mama says “no”.

Again, I'm all for being as supportive as possible – and we all have the dutiful 5:00 AM wake-up calls to prove it – but sometimes kids don't see the big picture or are being unreasonable (and they are kids, they aren't supposed to be completely reasonable yet), and even after all the explanations and empowerment…sigh…sometimes we have to draw some lines and make some hard calls. And I think that's okay, too.

Yes, while she says she wants to stay on the team, the $3000+ for both girls not counting the hotels stays etc. and the infringement on her time and family time…well, we have to have a say. The thing is I am quite certain she can get to the same goal by taking off a year or even two from synchro and focusing on her individual skills- I was willing to let her stick with the local team at a qualifying level, but if they have to skate a non-qualifying level or the team is struggling (like no prayer of making nationals) it doesn't seem like the time and money sacrafice is worth it.

I want her to be able to juggle school and have some down time and do things outside of skating and the two disciplines combined makes that hard and my long term goal for her is to keep her IN the sport, not burn her out trying to burn the candles at both ends.

There is some validity to the chances of making it to and medaling at nationals in synchro being potentially higher – and for my dd, if we took her to one of the bigger teams, several geographically possible (though not easy) that chance goes up more. But at 9 years old, and with 3 doubles already, I do think she has plenty of opportunity to try her hand at success in freestyle and still go back to synchro later- at a certain age, you probably do have to choose.

I agree insofar as the chances are better, just as the chances are better if you're male. At least at some levels. What a lot of people who have promoted synchro to my skater for just this reason forget is that if all my skater wanted to do was get medals and go to nationals in some sport, she could maybe try cheer leading or track or soccer. Not saying anything about the difficulty level – any sport that gets to national level takes dedication and hard work that is above and beyond – only that just because synchro is also skating or an ice sport, it doesn't mean that it's her passion any more than speed skating curling would be. (Although, I think she might be convinced to try curling, lol.) It's just also very…distasteful the way it's been spoken about to me in the past. Yes, that chances are higher. But that in and of itself isn't a good reason to try to talk someone into synchro, or to actually put someone else down or roll their eyes for wanting to have a real go at individual skating. I really envy the rinks/clubs that have a good rapport among all disciplines, and who aren't scrambling for the same resources. It's stressful.

And sorry…I'm sounding like One Of Those Skate Moms. In the scheme of things, this is still a very minor issue, and one that people are actually working at improving from all angles. Our club and rink are wonderful in that they are a bit more low-key than some other more “high power” rinks. It's overall a nice, nurturing environment, but sure, there are some tradeoffs. Any squabbles or vents are the vents of family members who really do get along otherwise. Just want to be clear on that. Thinking about it, it's not so much the rapport between disciplines – we have a lot of kids who skate multiple disciplines – but what I later said – resources mostly, volunteer time – we're all stretched. Any problems would be solved if we could all just win the lottery. And I'll shut up now before I dig a hole for myself, lol.

All true Jozet! Here it is the opposite, synchro is seen as for the girls who cannot REALLY skate- tell that to my 9 yo with 3 doubles, right?

Oh, that ticks me off as much as during the Olympics when all the once-every-four-year skating experts had a lot to say about whether or not ice dance was a sport. Your try to do a twizzle. Yeah. That.

Synchro is simply breathtaking to watch. Anything that good is never that easy. Even hockey. Heh heh heh, I'm evul.

It's not really forcing, it was more of a suggestion. I didn't mean to get so many people upset over that perception. My daughter has 3 more seasons before she could be on a juv team. After discovering that only 4 of her award winning team are returning next season, we decided to opt out. The next year prelim team is going to be young, mostly kids skating individually at a different level than my daughter. I think we're taking the season off, to see how it goes, and if she misses it so much, we'll go back when she can try out for juv. Good luck to you, too.

She trains dance also, and we learned that only 4 of the girls of the 15 who were on her prelim team last year, are returning. 1 aged out, 5 moved to juv, and 5 (inc. her) have decided to focus on individual. She doesn't seem heartbroken about stopping for now. I think when she's old enough to try out for juv, she will…and that's still 3 seasons from now. Thanks for all your input.

Thanks! Mia loves to compete no matter what, so I hope we get 6 individual competitions in this year. Synchro is very expensive. I think we're going to sit out this year. Her synchro coach said we can come back anytime…even mid season, but it's not going to be the same. There are only 4 left of the 15 who skated so well together, so maybe a year or 2 off and coming back when she can compete juv, we'll try out again. Thanks!

If we win the lottery, I can quit working and she can do all disciplines! I like that idea.

It pained me to read that this very young skater has to choose between Freestyle and Synchro. I am 16 years old and I don't think I would be able to make that decision. Although I have only been synchro skating for 3 years now, it has been the best decision I've made.
Synchro has given me so much: a wonderful team atmosphere that is otherwise hard to experience in solo skating, drastic improvements in speed and MIF, (I began as a Pre-pre MIF test, and am now preparing to test Intermediate MIF in June,) and stamina, camaraderie, a chance to make new friends, and become better friends with the girls at the rink, not to mention MASSIVE amounts of fun hanging out with teammates!!! My best friends I have right now are all on the team I skate with! It's great camaraderie! Plus, I always have girls to help me out with the steps and give me pointers on the elements (I'm still learning Above all, a team gives you great support – I know I can count on any of my synchro “sista’s” if I need a hand, and we always are there to support each other. I’ve been through both the highest and lowest points of my skating career with my team. I don't think I could have gone through any of it without the support from them. We’re all so close!
As for the question about competitive skaters, our team has them! We have one teammate in particular who passed Senior MIF at age 12, Junior FS at 16, and has consistent triple jumps. She does all the “big” competitions offered, and competes at Regionals annually. She's been on our synchro team every year since its inception. Synchro does not in any way hinder her progress.
I remember starting LTS at age 7 and was ready to get outside and play once LTS concluded in the spring! You have your whole life to decide what you want to do with your skating, and if you want to go play outside one day – do it! I say if she enjoys synchro – do it! The most important thing in this situation is that it is her skating and what she desires to pursue is entirely her decision. It all starts with her dreams and desires (and then moves to what’s reasonable and feasible), and I say since it’s her skating, she should be able to do both, as long as it’s reasonable and feasible to do both, which is what it sounding like.
I am lucky to have a coach who supports synchro, as not all skaters do. I would approach this by asking the coach for any specifics on why she is insistent on your daughter’s end of synchro. Is it the synchro coach? Do the synchro practices exhaust her for FS practice? Does she feel that she is being taught MIF incorrectly when they are not on a specific pattern? Find out why, and then decide. Keep in mind that the coach’s opinion is important, but it is your daughter’s skating career that is being decided, and she has an important say in what happens with her skating, (as well as you as the parent with what you are willing to put out). I wish you the best of luck in your decision!!

I think it should be up to you and your daughter. If your daughter really likes synchro and wants to continue on the team than she should continue.

The coach is concerned because she feels that your daughter could possibly progress faster through her individual freestyle if she focused on skating strictly freestyle. Also more financial resources could be allocated toward her individual freestyle skating if your daughter was to stop skating synchro. Your daughters coach sees potential in your daughter and only has her best interests as an individual skater at heart. There are also certain techniques that are different in synchro from individual freestyle skating which have to be corrected during an individual freestyle lesson. This can be frustrating for a coach to have to correct when they would like to be working on higher level freestyle skills.

You can also consider having your daughter stop skating synchro and focus on her freestyle skating for now and come back to synchro skating when she is in high school or college. If your daughter is a strong freestyle skater and she stays on track testing her MIF she should not have any problems getting on another team in the future.

You also have to determine if your skater is interested in skating for fun and making new friends or if she is wanting to be an national, world or olympic level skater. If she wants to skate just for fun than stick with synchro and freeskate. If you can see the drive and determination type spirit to be a successful freestyle skater in your daughter than you may want to consider focusing on freeskate for now and coming back to synchro when she is older. Hope this is helpful, Season

I like your advice about staying up on MIF, Season:

You can also consider having your daughter stop skating synchro and focus on her freestyle skating for now and come back to synchro skating when she is in high school or college. If your daughter is a strong freestyle skater and she stays on track testing her MIF she should not have any problems getting on another team in the future.

I like your advice about staying up on MIF, Season:

You can also consider having your daughter stop skating synchro and focus on her freestyle skating for now and come back to synchro skating when she is in high school or college. If your daughter is a strong freestyle skater and she stays on track testing her MIF she should not have any problems getting on another team in the future.

You are lucky that your coach supports Synchro. Some coaches want all that extra practice time and money to go to Freestyle. That’s not a bad thing, but it seems like it supports the coach’s goals more than those of the student.

You are lucky that your coach supports Synchro. Some coaches want all that extra practice time and money to go to Freestyle. That's not a bad thing, but it seems like it supports the coach's goals more than those of the student.