Be honest. Do you bribe your figure skater to complete jumps, spins?

As the parent of a young skater (just turned 7), I have used “bribes”, but for a slightly different result. As you know, little kids like to cry and especially little ones that fall while skating. So, occasionally, after a fall and crying session, I have been heard to utter words such as “If you go back out on the ice with your coach, I will take you for ice cream afterwards”. The $3 ice cream cone is a far better price than handing over $30 to the coach that worked for about 4 minutes with my kid and then she cried during the balance of her ice time. All of this assumes that she really didn't take too hard of a fall or anything like that.

Who knows – maybe I will change as she gets older, but I can't see myself telling her upfront – “hit your axel and here's $10″. Her grandpa – yup – sure hope he doesn't read this blog – he might have her in a new car by the time she is 11.

We'll all have degrees in sports psychology at the end of this, won't we?

I'm generally with Alfie Kohn on this kind of thing – I'm not a die-hard fan of using grades and rewards as an external motivation far removed from attaining a skill/new knowledge as a motivation in an of itself – and even refrain from saying “Good Job!” as much as possible. In my own research study of 3 (my kids, lol), as soon as I start rewarding kids for things they were doing anyway, they switch to only doing the thing they previously enjoyed for it's own sake to doing that thing for rewards only. When my kids do something that took a lot of work or that they are proud of, I generally try to just reflect that back to them and let them own it: “You worked really hard! You must really feel proud of yourself!” It's not that I never say “good job”…it's just that when I do, it's a big deal. I save some money that way.

However, I'm guessing Alfie Kohn never went up against The Stupid Axel. Or a moves in the field test that is becoming pure drudgery.

I try to convince my skater to keep an eye on her current big goal – getting to Juvenile level – and then “Eat a frog first thing”, i.e. get the moves practice out of the way so she can reward herself with jumping and spinning. That sometimes works.

But the kid is only eleven years old. A *whole year* to learn one jump (at age 10) is asking a lot. We got through the axel with ice creams and “good jobs” and the eventual promise of getting her ears pierced. Practicing the moves test gets a few quarters to get a gooey snack from the vending machine at break time. I think these are the kinds of rewards – or “bribes” (for the cynical ) – are the kinds we all give ourselves, even as adults. “I'm not going to sit at the computer and 'talk' skating until I get dishes done.”

I think it's a good lesson that even when pursuing our passions, there are days when what is normally 100% fun is just not so fun. That's not a reason to give up or give in, but instead to maybe restate the big fun goal, and then dangle a chocolate bar – or some pocket change, or an ice cream – at the end of the smaller, frustrating goals.

I don't have a kid in the sport, so maybe I just don't understand- but I'm baffled by the idea of bribes. I mean, as a parent- aren't you paying for the ice, the lesson, the skates, the dresses? Why would you also need to pay for the kid to do the elements? If you have to pay them to get them to practice, why bother paying for all the other stuff? Maybe they just don't want to skate.

I can understand “rewards”. Doing your best in a competition, passing a test, Getting your axel are big deals- an ipod sounds like a fine reward. But “I'll give you $10 if you go out and do 3 axels…because you need to be practicing”. If you have to pay your kid to skate- why are they skating? (And as another commentor mentioned, just go out there and we'll get an ice cream cone, I've seen that a lot for children shaken up after a fall. It's calming, I don't see it as a pay off)

That said, when I was a little girl my Dad would buy me baseball cards if I was “aggressive” during a soccer game. But during soccer practice? If I didn't get my butt out there and work hard all I got was “if you aren't trying, you won't do soccer next season”- there was no $5 for going to practice when I didn't want to.

Maybe that's why I'm okay with rewards, but not with bribes.

My daughter just turned 6 and I do the ice cream thing too. I have a hard time because the ice rink is on the other side of town and at a bad time of night. She often falls asleep on the way out there and trying to get her to go into a cold rink is hard. So I will bribe her with an ice cream cone after.

She also plays soccer. She happens to be really good and always makes a ton of goals for her team. Another parent wanted his girl to also get into the game more and now bribes his daughter with $5 goals! While my daughter was out last game with a hurt knee the other girl went nuts. Her dad ended up having to give her $45!

I won't be doing that and I'm pretty sure he is thinking of a way to get out of it for tonights game.

My daughter's coach used to put stickers on her skate boots for every clean double. So both she and my daughter and everyone else could see how good she was getting as the sticker population grew. It was a cheap reward (okay bribe) and a fantastically motivating visual.

I love stickers! It's amazing what kids will do for a sticker – I think parents aim too high with ten dollar bills. Plus, yes, it's a good way to visually chart progress. That's important, too.

In my experience, bribes and rewards only work if it's something she wants to do anyway. When my daughter was really little (6, I think) and she played soccer, it was so hard watching her just WATCH the game. No aggression at all, no attempts to get near the ball, just a lot of running, pretty far behind the crush of kids near the ball… so one day I heard some other parent was paying her kid for goals. So I figured I'd try… a dollar for a goal. Heck, I told her I'd give her a dollar to make contact with the ball! Needless to say, I didn't lose any money on the deal and she only played one more season of soccer. (I may have spent $1 on rewards that second season.) But when it came to skating, there didn't seem to be a need for bribes or rewards. Until “that stupid axel”. One day after she came off the ice in tears, again, almost drowning in frustration because she was soclose to landing it, I took her to the toy store and bought her the Nintendo DS game, Imagine Figure Skater. I told her it was a reward for when she finally landed her axel and that I was sure it was going to be ANY DAY NOW and I wanted to be ready, to have the game to give it to her right when it happened, even if the store was closed or we didn't have time to go get it. Well… it still took her a few more weeks but the crying lessened because her frustration was replaced by determination and suddenly it wasn't as much about a jump she couldn't land as it was about a game that she was going to get. Plus, she knew I had faith in her since I bought it ahead of time (even if it WAS just sitting in my closet). So eventually, she landed that axel and got the game. I'm sure in the grand scheme of things, a well-landed axel gives her much more happiness than the game ever did but that game kept her going. Now her friends are into these tiny japanese erasers (they cost about $1 each) so she gets one for each new jump she's landed. Or moves test passed. It's a lot cheaper than a DS game but so far, nothing has been as frustrating or taken as long as the axel. AND now she doesn't need the reward either – it's just a treat. Because she has learned that the reward IS the jump. But if she can get an iced latte on the way home… well, she's certainly not going to turn it down!

Hi, Mike! Thanks for the comment!

I tell you, I have ice cream issues as well. It takes very, very little to nudge me toward the ice cream drive thru. Is it a bribe? I don't know. I think I'm just an easy mark that way.

As for grandpa, let's not tell Ice Girl what a sweet deal your skater has. Ice Girl receives very few bribes from grandparents and is shopping for a new set.

Ha! That man paid $45 for soccer goals! Good luck breaking that tradition!

Here's my when I was a kid story. When I was a kid, my mother signed me up for swimming lessons in the summer at 7-freaking-o'clock in the morning. That's inhuman right there. I had to ride my bike to the lessons, and we lived in the upper Midwest. The upper Midwest is still cold in the summer during the early morning. And the lessons were at a QUARRY! No, I'm not kidding. That quarry was deep, dark, and spring-fed. Cold, cold, cold! When I finished swimming, I biked home wet, cold, and crabby.

Suck it up, kids! Back in the day, things were ROUGH. No bribes for me. No, no. It was all, “Get on your bike before you're late.” As if late was a disincentive. Late was the best thing about swimming lessons.

Geez, Cake, you put a quarter in me this morning! You'd think after 33 years I'd be over this bit of childhood cruelty. Not so much, huh?

I'm an Alfie Kohn fan, too, but he says some controversial things. He's not a believer in rubrics, but I just love 'em. No, they're not perfect, but subjective grading is seriously flawed.

Anyway, I think small rewards are great. They sure motivate me at work. People like to feel they're making progress; it's normal.

I'm still not convinced that chocolate and ice cream are bribes, though. I mean, chocolate? Isn't that a life necessity? Isn't that like saying, “Here kid, since you practiced your MIF this morning, you can have some water</> and as a special treat, air.” I mean, isn't chocolate sort of like water and air?

I've been giving this some thought and I think that most kids have intrinsic motivation for a long time. Then comes that stupid Axel and the intrinsic motivation begins to erode. If I have to prop up that motivation with a Concrete Mixer made with chocolate ice cream and peanut butter cups, who's to say that's wrong?

Well, I might have said it's wrong. I'm still working on this whole parenting/philosophy/moral compass thing.

“No, they're not perfect, but subjective grading is seriously flawed.”

So then competitive figure skating is the perfect sport for you!

And I agree…Mr. Kohn says a lot that leaves me shaking my head – sometimes in agreement, sometimes being completely befuddled.

I guess so, once in a while, yes. My dd (9), is very instrinsically motivated, but when she has a more monumental challenge ahead of her, I do sometimes set out rewards for accomplishments. Earlier this season, she started to compete preliminary, and needed to land double sal, and an axel, double sal combination IN the program- we all know doing it alone and doing it IN the program are two different things. She WANTED to do this, but was a bit unnerved by it- so holding out a reward for successfully landing both in the program helped get her over the hump of fear that was holding her back. She wanted a manicure with a friend and a sleepover (she doesn't get much social time). She invited her skating friend who really understood how hard it was to accomplish this goal.

So now, we are doing GREAT with preliminary and earning medals right? So onto Pre-Juv soon, her coach is trying to get her to land some double double combinations- she again, was a bit intimidated by the goal- she WANTED to, but she is young and does get a bit overcome with angst- this time moving up her date to get her ears pierced (from 10th bday) was set out- needless to say, we will be going to the mall in the next week or so to get THAT reward.

For her, the rewards seem to help her focus on something other than her fear and worry that she CANNOT do this- and yes her coaches have pretty high expectations of her- but she almost always meets them.

The stickers thing. Very smart and surprisingly powerful. Remember attending high school football games and seeing the football players on the sidelines? Ever notice the stickers on their helmets (footballs, stars, etc.). They received one for a sack, preventing an interception, participating on a special team that did something…special.

I can see the sticker thing as very powerful. I'm going to suggest it to Ice Coach. Very smart, as usual, Xan!

Oh, WOW – this is a good topic Ice Mom…. In the 9 years my daughter has been skating we have not ever really used bribes – I totally agree with Jessi – if you are having to bribe them for a jump or a spin maybe they just don't really want to skate. Or maybe they should just do ice dance or something… I'm a firm believer that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. I.E. you can buy the expensive dresses, skates, tights, Zuca bag, ice time, ice coach, etc. but if they don't really want to do it then they aren't going to! Or maybe they are just having a crappy day, they stayed up too late last night, pulled a muscle in an Off Ice class, had a fight with a friend at school, whatever, but they just don't feel like working on a certain jump or spin that day. I always had a good stand by to fall back to on these days – “Just work on your Moves!” – And, yay, my Ice Girl passed her Senior Moves a few months ago. I can't wait for her to start Ice Dance so that can become my new fall back thing… Now a small “Ice Cream Cone” type reward I have no problem with. A reward is NOT the same thing as a bribe! I think they deserve small rewards from time to time. Esp. for landing an Axel, or anything that they have really struggled with for awhile. The only bribe I have ever offered, although I was thinking of it as a reward, is that I did offer my daughter $100 to spend at the mall if she ever lands her double Axel. Now, I know some of you are thinking that that's mean, MANY girls NEVER land clean double axels, esp not when they are as tall as mine…. But she has gotten close on them sometimes, so I got a little too excited… :~)
I can tell you of a good example of bribes not working… There was a mom at our rink who would basically almost always bribe her two ice girls to land jumps, practice a certain spin, and some days even to skate at all… Well, it didn't ever really work and now neither of these girls skate at all. A true example of being able to “lead a horse to the water, etc.” Even if your Ice Girl claims to love skating I think that if you have to bribe them at all you should consider cutting back on your amount of ice time, some girls just get burnt out with too many “skating days”. That's the beauty of figure skating: you don't HAVE to skate every day! At our rink we have girls who only skate one day a week, some two days, some as many as 6 days a week. Every girl can find her “right” amount of skating. (The only thing I have said to my Ice Girl is to not expect to progress as fast or to have super consistant jumps as a friend of hers who skates twice as much she does. My Ice Girl currently only skates 4 to 5 1/2 hours per week – some of her friends skate 8 to 12 hours a week!) So I guess the lesson is to beware of bribes & burnout, I have seen girls quit skating over burnout many times in the last 9 years. Let the child decide how much ice time she wants but do make it clear that SHE is responsible for working hard once that ice time has been paid for. I've always told my Ice Girl to please just let me know if she doesn't want to go skate that day, I'm always game for staying home & saving my money! :~)

I totally agree, dd's big goal is also to get to Juvenile and she is only 9, so yes it is hard and possibly a bit overwhelming for such a young kid. I give the rewards for things that are just killing her- she wants it SO bad, she is at the peak of frustration- it seems to help take her mind off the bad and onto the good. I don't do it for everything, but I have been known, after a particularly productive lesson/practice to go to the donut drive through before school.

I really like how the Nintendo DS game was tangible proof of your faith in your daughter. What a powerful symbol.

I love this topic. For my daughters, the reward for doing what your supposed to be doing is not to be nagged during the car ride home! I don’t think I would reward a good lesson or practice with money, but I would acknowledge it. Just like I say “thanks” when my daughter cleans up the kitchen – I expected it from her, but it does not go unrecognized.
Celebrations and gifts happen for milestones or achievements. There is a clear difference between getting an ipod for landing an axel that took months of hard work and a bribe. I also wouldn’t feel guilty making a favorite meal or stopping for ice cream if my daughter is having a bad day on the ice. As Jozet at Halushki wisely points out, we often do this for ourselves!

I don't get rewards for skating, I see getting that spin or landing that jump as its own reward. Its a way to see yourself improving and for me at least, it gives me a self-esteem boost. But my parents do give rewards for school work at the end of every school year. For example last year it was a new skating dress, the year before ,new boots and this year, its going to be a zuca. My school rewards are always skating things, but my sisters ask for things like a new phone or an Ipod. But it isn't a bribe to do well, its a reward for how hard my parents know we've worked. There's a difference between them, subtle as it is. I don't think bribes would really help me get a new element because I work at my own pace and bribes wouldn't make me get there any faster.

I'm not very comfortable with the idea of bribes in skating, particularly for a kid who WANTS to skate. My mom says that she would bribe each one of her kids one time in their childhood, and she opted to use each of those times helping us get over a phobia. I hated swimming, and though I'd taken classes and was pretty good at it, I never wanted to take the deep end test. I was just fine swimming in the shallow end, but when promised a trip to the mall, she was able to get me to take the deep end test. My younger brother was given permission to buy a video game (he had to buy it himself, but permission to do so was granted) when he agreed to go skating with me, because he was absolutely terrified of skating.

The thing about these bribes is that they were for something my mom wanted us to do that we had no interest in doing, and they also had to do with helping us get over some fears. When it comes to skating, kids should want to do it themselves, and I know that no bribe would've helped me land my axel or double sal any faster. I also think that bribes shift the focus away from the goal. The goal should be to land the jump, and landing it should be the reward. After years of struggling with the axel, when I finally got it clean I was ecstatic just to get it. Why would you want to dilute that accomplishment by making that accomplishment not the final reward, but just a step so I could get some money?

I'm probably coming off as a bit preachy, but I have some serious reservations about bribes and even rewards. One of my friends was offered $20 for each A. Well, that worked fine as long as he was in high school, but as soon as he went off to college he flunked out within the first semester because he wasn't going to class for completing assignments. He went back a year later, but after completing a few semesters, he flunked out again for the same reason. So yeah, his parents got some good grades out of him in high school, but without the bribes he was a mess in college. Another friend of mine was promised (at age THIRTEEN) $100 if she lost 20 pounds. I was only 14 at the time, but I found that odd, and in hindsight, it scares me to death. She was a skater and already getting plenty of exercise–yes, she was heavier, but no girl in the middle of puberty should be bribed to loose weight, especially if she's already very active.

I have used incentives, but not bribes . I dont even like the whole sticker idea, even when they were younger.I really think they should do it be doing it for themselves period.
I did get both kids zuccas for their axles, but since we see tons of LTS kids with zuccas, they really had to work hard for them.I think DD skated for 5 years before she got hers. It was an incentive.T
Since both my skaters are working on the same jumps, the jump coach sometimes will pay them a nickel for whoever lands more axle or doubles in a row.They are competive so it works welll for them.

You make some very good points. Bribing children to do things they don't want to do is probably just as counter productive in the long run as constant rewards. My kids were afraid of jumping into the water, and I know that some instructors just threw kids in. I never allowed that, either. Overcoming a fear should also be an accomplishment that belongs to the child, not to the parent or the instructor. It's sometimes a fine, gray line between support and manhandling.

I don't think that any reward or bribe could make a skater land a jump faster any more than it could make a kid land one at all. Kids have to – at their core – want to do it. I shake my head when people look at young Olympic athletes and say, “Their parents forced them to do it.” I highly doubt there is a parent on this planet who could force a child to land a triple jump if the child doesn't already have the heart and courage and determination and work ethic to keep trying it on their own…there are some things that go beyond $20 bills and trips to the mall or even an pony (the ultimate bribe ). Landing hard on your hips and elbows day after day it tough to force someone to do. I think you'd have to be in a good place mentally and emotionally to have the control to do those elements well and consistently.

However, I do think that there is more similarity than not between those activities kids have no interest in (because of fear) and those that kids do have an interest in, in general, but still struggle with certain elements. An axel is a scary jump. Psychologically, jumping forward in and of itself is scary. The jump requires a lot of falling, something that some kids up until that point may have gotten away with very little of. And there is the Axel “aura” – kids know it's a big jump and a big deal and really, a make-it-or-break-it for some kids. I think the reward – or bribe- works is the same way: it takes a bit of the psychological pressure off. Kids can say “It's not about a jump; it's about a Nintendo or an iPod”. I think it really is a big deal for some kids to get the jump (or spin or moves test) and the fact that they aren't getting it could be devastating on a day-to-day basis. I think, ironically, it's easier to say “one more day without my iPod” than “one more day without the jump.” Maybe a bit of pop psychology there, but maybe a bit of truth, too?

Great post. And I never liked the idea of having to bribe students to do well in school — the practice is almost unseemly. Bribing for something outside of academic achievement is a whole different ballgame, although the ice skater in question should truly want to skate, not just do it for the occasional reward.

Thanks for the shout-out for the Another Frisbee Meets Its Doom shot.

One thing my coach does is when one of her students lands her axel for the first time she gets them a big trophy to reward them for all their hard work.
This is a small reward for reaching a big achievement in figure skating. But the skater will always remember what it is for.

My dd's coach makes the loser do pushups! He does it between skating buddies too.

I have never used “bribes” for things I believe are better left to intrinsic motivation. When IB was young we went for a special drink (yes, non-alcoholic LOL) after his moves tests or FS tests, whether he passed or not, just to mark the hard work that he did up to that point. We made it a point to include the re-trys as legitimate reasons for the drink because, like a competition, and in life, the best we can do is our best, we can't control how the judge was feeling that day or how the ice was. Under the circumstances, you gave it your all. It was something to look forward to.

He knows that his friends often get bribes, but we also talk about how that will not help them later on in life. He doesn't need bribes in skating, the accomplishment of landing a clean double is way more than enough for him, and that's how it should be in my mind. I am so glad I didn't bribe him for grades, chores or anything else, but a well placed reward out of the blue as recognition for how hard he works is totally cool.

LOL, when he was younger he begged me to make him a sticker sheet or a check list, I should have listened earlier because he really got things done when it was visual. But that was something that he wanted and he didn't get anything like a prize for completing, just the satisfaction of a task completed and that motivated him, just made it more visual I guess. Easier for him to relate to as a young child.

As a teen, he is the hardest working child I've ever seen. He'll practice music and he'll practice skating, he'll do his school work (this with reminders). He has somehow made the connection that hard work equals results and it's more than I can ask for. I was never like that. You had to drag me to the piano. I would have done it for $10 a pop, LOL. But maybe not for long hehe.

This is such a timely post. This weekend our daughter had a competition. Before she skated on Friday, she wanted to know if she won both of her events, would we buy her an ipod touch? I was completely floored! I told her if she won both of her events, her reward would be that I would continue to pay the skating bills (and reminded her how much ice the price of an ipod would buy) and that the real reward was feeling good about a great performance. Happy to report she won both her events–2 clean programs and first place rankings from all the judges for both events. We were so proud!

Great post! It's amazing how subtle the difference between bribes and rewards can be. My 6 year old recently came up with a great reward idea. He asked if he could get a new helmet if he passed his pre-alpha-plus class. I thought this was a great idea! He picked a reward related to what he wanted to achieve and the reward was reasonable. I agreed to it. He then went further (because why stop when you're winning?) and asked if he could get his own skates if he got “all the way through beta.” (He's still using rentals.) I didn't commit to this one, but if he's really into skating and gets through beta, I may consider it.

As for Xan's sticker idea…she suggested this to me once when I was in a slump. I loved it and now have a small collection of stickers on my right skate!

Thanks for starting great discussions Ice Mom!

Heck no does anyone pay me extra for an amazingly insightful powerpoint?

Seriously an “attta girl” and the occasional surprise for achieving something for sure. Ok maybe one of those covetted (but I despise) ring pops but that is my limit.

I guess I do bribe. There are moves that she will litterally do over and over for hours. Then things like edges, not so much. So I do bribe, reward, whatever for doing the “boring” stuff. Its usually something silly like pipe cleaners or pom poms. I think it has helped. Pre bribes she went up one level a session. After bribes it has been 4 levels in 2 sessions. This way she gets to practice the basics and not just the fun stuff. She's too young to link the basics to the funner stuff later on.

I can't imagine bribing someone to practice anything if they really don't want to do it.

When I was really little, my family had a sticker-chart reward system for doing chores. After filling out a chart (or 2 or 3) my parents would buy me a toy or game that I had been working towards. I didn't get an allowance though, and this way my parents could regulate how the money was spent. So really, I think it was more about teaching that if you work hard you will get rewarded rather than bribing chores out my sister and I.

After I started skating I can't remember ever being bribed or rewarded for anything in particular. If I passed a test or placed at a competition my family was happy for me, but I never got any sort of gift or reward. After a major competition my family would go out for a nice dinner (but only for the big ones and only if my whole family was there), and after the last competition of the season I would get a root-beer float (still my tradition; it's the one time a year I drink soda).

That being said I have seen the bribery thing work. I know one coach who bet his skater $20 that he couldn't land his Axel, and I tell you what the kid went out and stuck that landing for the whole world to see. But that was the case of a one-time thing (the kid had never landed one before and he wasn't getting paid-per-jump. Also, it was a limited time offer; the kid had one chance to do it). For things like that I can understand celebratory gifts (iPod, Zuca, etc.), but I think only for once in a lifetime type achievements or as a reward for long-term work (finishing a school year, landing the Axel, etc.). I can also understand mini rewards (ice cream, candy, etc) for a good (or bad) day of practice or school or whatever. But paying a kid to land jumps on a regular basis? I don't think that helps matters at all. Either the kid is trying hard and having a bad day, in which case all the money in the world won't buy them a landing, or they aren't trying hard, which probably means they don't want to be skating in the first place. If I were in the situation of paying a kid to skate I would just stop carrying change in my pockets…

Nor sure if it counts but my daughter always wants cotton candy on the way out, if she does 20 of each jump in a row and lands then all she gets one, if she doesn't ….
I figure that if I am paying for lessons at $35 a pop then an extra bit of practice is a good thing, and although she loves skating she will only do the current jumps / spins glamorous bits it will save me money in the end – although the dental insurance my go up!

The only time I've ever offered a reward was when my ice princess completed all of her Basic Lessons and moved onto Freestyle. She received the Zuca bag that she'd been begging for several months. As long as she puts forth the effort to work on the ice, I give her a poker chip. She also earns these for cleaning her room and doing homework. Once she gets 50, she can get something at Toys R Us. Yes, we pay for the ice and lessons (and outfits and competitions, etc.) but it's the child who says they want to be there. It's the parent who pays but we expect to see them working hard for our pay!

I love the shot of the dog with his mangled frisbee! Thanks for sharing it on Creative Commons!

I don’t get rewards or anything for sports. My parents already have enough trouble with paying for it. My parents aren’t as involved as most parents. They typically don’t watch my practices. When they do though, I can mention I landed lots of flips to day or something and they will say good job or something like that. I haven’t asked if I could get something for doing well, that’s not something my parents would want to do anyway. They think that we should want it enough to work hard and get it by wanting it not any type of reward or bribe, it has more meaning when you do it for the want to instead of an ipod touch or trip to the mall. My dad’s always rambling on about having the want to, and that’s what my sister and I work with instead of being rewarded for something, I mean if I win nationals or something I might get a reward, but in my parents and my eyes, you should work toward your sports accomplishments because you want to, if you don’t have the want to anymore, what are you doing there working on it? My sister is in martial arts and it’s the same way, she doesn’t get rewards for getting belted or learning a new kick, she gets her own satisfaction from it. I would love to be rewarded though. But, it just doesn’t seem right, it seems like the parents wanted them to do it instead of the kid wanting to do it, wether it’s a bribe or a reward, the child should have their own want for an element or skill instead of the want for an ipod, cell phone, trip, or skating dress.

I don't get rewards or anything for sports. My parents already have enough trouble with paying for it. My parents aren't as involved as most parents. They typically don't watch my practices. When they do though, I can mention I landed lots of flips to day or something and they will say good job or something like that. I haven't asked if I could get something for doing well, that's not something my parents would want to do anyway. They think that we should want it enough to work hard and get it by wanting it not any type of reward or bribe, it has more meaning when you do it for the want to instead of an ipod touch or trip to the mall. My dad's always rambling on about having the want to, and that's what my sister and I work with instead of being rewarded for something, I mean if I win nationals or something I might get a reward, but in my parents and my eyes, you should work toward your sports accomplishments because you want to, if you don't have the want to anymore, what are you doing there working on it? My sister is in martial arts and it's the same way, she doesn't get rewards for getting belted or learning a new kick, she gets her own satisfaction from it. I would love to be rewarded though. But, it just doesn't seem right, it seems like the parents wanted them to do it instead of the kid wanting to do it, wether it's a bribe or a reward, the child should have their own want for an element or skill instead of the want for an ipod, cell phone, trip, or skating dress.

Ha! No kidding! There’s a lot of subjectivity in figure skating! The IJS is trying to nail it down some, but it’s hard to pin down the ethereal artistry.

Ha! No kidding! There's a lot of subjectivity in figure skating! The IJS is trying to nail it down some, but it's hard to pin down the ethereal artistry.

I like the gifts for achievements thing so much better than bribes!

A LOT of kids at my rink are at the same level and have got to the working on axel stage. There was a while when they all got £5 for landing their first axel. £5 isn’t so bad, but it’s the potential for escalation that’s worrying

Although, as an adult skater, maybe i’m just jealous…

[...] I know that it’s pretty common practice to give a skater a reward for achieving a figure skating milestone. Ice Dad and I gave Ice Girl an iPod nano when she landed her Axel. I know parents who have rewarded their skaters for skating a clean program at Regionals with highlights for their hair. Other parents give money. Of course, some parents do nothing at all. I wrote about this in May: Be honest. Do you bribe your figure skater to complete jumps, spins? [...]

I daughter wants to land her newest jump because she wants to and not for a reward. She knows if not working hard she doesn’t get to skate as much. Only time I have bought her something is when she learned her new practice list as she can’t read and had to make pictures and highlight certain words for her to understand… I bought her new skate pants.. If I have to bride my daughter to practice well ,, time to look at new sport, one less demanding….