Ask the Expert: How Do We Treat African Americans in our Figure Skating Clubs?

I applaud you for taking on this topic. It's an extremely sensitive, yet extremely real issue in the figure skating world.

My perspective is from the Latino/Hispanic side. After many years in LTS, we recently joined the world of club skating. The diversity (albeit small) of LTS disappeared completely. Although my daughter is comfortable with the girls in the club, I have noticed some changes since we've started – including giving me the “look” when I dare to speak to her in Spanish when we are there. No one has said anything to her or made fun of her, but regardless she feels the need to fit in since she is relatively new – and at this age, fitting in seems to be synomous with not being different.

The other icemoms and icedads have been welcoming, although I get the feeling many of the parents aren't the most outgoing personalities in the world.

The only issue I had wasn't even specifically directed at me or my daughter, although the woman hit a nerve without necessarily realizing it. She was (loudly) discussing the local school district which both her daughter and mine attend. She was telling a couple of other mothers that she had put her daughter in a different elementary school rather than the one they were supposed to go to (the one both of my children attend) because: “Do you realize that school is over 50% minorities? I just don't feel comfortable with my daughter attending a school like that!”

This was our second time at the club ice time – and I had never met her before. The other moms she was talking to appeared visibly uncomfortable and the conversation came to an awkward end, with one of them looking toward me and slightly shaking her head.

Now while the completely juvenile part of me wanted to go over to her and ask her if she felt comfortable with her daughter on the ice with a Latina, the more mature part of me decided to take the high road and let it go.

Since then, that particular icemom doesn't come very often – it's usually the icedad – and when she does come, she sits alone and doesn't talk to anyone. Whether that's related, I don't know.

My daughter's made one comment regarding the lack of diversity in figure skating. She wondered if she should be doing it since no one 'like her' was doing it. I asked her if she liked it, and she said yes. So my answer to her was then, yes, you should do it.

Given the cost associated with figure skating, there will probably always be an issue with the lack of diversity. I think the best thing a club can do is to promote a welcoming environment to ALL new families, and have zero tolerance for racial discrimination and insensitivity.

I am asian, but I feel like a minority in our rink sometimes during freestyle ice because I am an asian ADULT skater. There are many younger asians in my rink in LTS and also quite a few advanced skaters in freestyle sessions, but I have yet to see somebody who was an adult asian like me. The oldest ones I've seen were probably sophomores in high school. All the other adult skaters in our club that I know of are Caucasian. Granted this has never been an issue with our rink staff (we even had an adults number in the ice shows, it went great and the staff was even trying to get the other adults in the Adult Basics group class to join the show also), but I can feel sometimes that I get “the look” from other ice moms and even ice dads during freestyle sessions. However I am way past that age where I care what anyone thinks of what I do (and I should be proud of myself anyway because, heck how many ice parents would have the guts to dive in and try to learn what their kids are doing? and how many adults, even those as young as twenty somethings would stretch and workout and stretch some more to achieve the splits at 28 like I did (with never having had them in childhood).My husband drives me to the rink (we only have one car), and then sometimes watches me practice (most of the time he's on his laptop though), he said he always gets the “so who's your daughter?” and he's like, “Don't have one, but that's my wife out there!” and he would point to me. Most of the time the reaction is positive like “woooooow that's awesome” but there's been some that say, “she's learning too?” Because they can tell I am not there to coach and I'm on the lower freestyle level because obviously what I'm practicing is nowhere near difficult what the other girls were. My hubby just takes everything with a grain of salt though–good for him…Still it's hard not to notice when I see the “stage moms” standing by the rink who give me that look that clearly say “how dare this old girl share the ice with MY daughter who is practicing her short program” or whatever. lol. I just ignore it. Minority peoples' money is as good as anyone's money and as long as you follow rink etiquette you ahve just as much right to be there as the competitive kids. And sadly some of these “looks” come from Asian parents too. You would think they would be impressed or proud that one of “their kind” is out there as well, but I can understand that adult skating didn't really explode until this decade or so this is still a new sight to behold for them (a girl over 20 years old on the ice as a student, not a coach).

Hey, niuiceprincess!

I really like your perspective as a minority adult skater. I think you're brave and I admire your dedication – the splits at 28! You're incredible.

These stage moms are snotty to everyone. They're the ones who claim, “So-and-so keeps getting in Ashley's way and she can't work on her triple twisty thing.”

Look, Stage Mom, Ashley, Hannah, and Carly are sharing the ice. You didn't pay for private ice.

You're right: your money works just as well as theirs. Rest assured, niuiceprincess, the sane moms in the lobby think Stage Mom needs to stuff it, too.

Thanks for the comment!

I can relate to the way that this mom feels with regards to the coldness that the other skaters and parents are treating her and her daughter with. I truely hope that they are not experiencing this type of behavior because of all the political problems our country is experiencing with immigration.

My advice for this family would be to try to get involved in the figure skating club as much as possible. Try to become a board member or volunteer at as many club events as possible. If this is something that is offered at your rink have your daughter tryout for a skating team (synchro, compulsory, theater on ice) this will help her make friends faster and will help you as a parent get to know the other parents at the rink. The more involved you are the faster you will make friends. The more friends at the rink the more people you have to stand up to the rink bullies and other families that are uncomfortable with you skating at their rink.

Try to kill any families that give you problems with kindness but do not let them walk all over you. They will try to use you and treat you like a slave. They will also use this type of behavior to sabotage relationships you have developed with other families.

If you have a grievance with any other family member at your rink try to work the matter out with the family in private and one-on-one. If you try this and it does not work than you need to bring this to the attention of the figure skating director, the arena manager, and the figure skating club board ASAP. If you allow the other racist family to get any ground ahead of you on a grievance than it will be very difficult to make your case to the higher authorities, especially if this family is already very active in the figure skating club, a board member, or has a lot of money and/or has been a long time member. Also try to document and try to get witness to what you document in case you have to bring the matter up at a board meeting.

Finally it has been my experience that discrimination occurs in the larger more competitive clubs as opposed to the small rinks. The larger more competitive clubs I feel have these issues not so much because of racial tension but because of competitive tension. Racial issues just compound the competitiveness of the arena. This is because the families that are racist have a very difficult time with a minority skater that is more competitive than their skater.

Too many parents in this sport get caught up in living through their childrens success. I have been guilty of this myself. It is very difficult to see other skaters that your child may have been more successful than in the past become better more successful skaters than your child. We as parents have to remember that our children are doing this for fun. This sport puts enough mental and emotional pressure on our children, we do not need to add to that pressure. If you feel that you and your daughter is not connecting with the families at the rink you are currently skating and you have the option to skate a another rink than I would recommend changing rinks. But only after you have made every effort to make a connection at the current rink your are skating. I don’t think it is a good idea to send the message that this type of behavior is acceptable and that minorities can be easly run off by this type of behavior.

Finally, if you decide to switch to another rink it will be very clear to you which rinks have problems with racism and which don’t. Especially since you have already had some experience with racism at your current rink. The rinks that do not have this problem have members that are very friendly and family oriented members. They will welcome you to their rink and make you feel like part of the family. It will not matter what level you skate or the color of your skin. The members will be happy just to make new friends and help their club and rink to grow.

I hope that this advice is helpful to all minority families that are struggling to connect with other families at the rink that they like to skate and have fun. Thank you, Season

From Season…

Thank you Ice mom for forwarding this too me. I would like to reply to this post.

I can relate to the way that this mom feels with regards to the coldness that the other skaters and parents are treating her and her daughter with. I truely hope that they are not experiencing this type of behavior because of all the political problems our country is experiencing with immigration.

My advice for this family would be to try to get involved in the figure skating club as much as possible. Try to become a board member or volunteer at as many club events as possible. If this is something that is offered at your rink have your daughter tryout for a skating team (synchro, compulsory, theater on ice) this will help her make friends faster and will help you as a parent get to know the other parents at the rink. The more involved you are the faster you will make friends. The more friends at the rink the more people you have to stand up to the rink bullies and other families that are uncomfortable with you skating at their rink.

Try to kill any families that give you problems with kindness but do not let them walk all over you. They will try to use you and treat you like a slave. They will also use this type of behavior to sabotage relationships you have developed with other families.

If you have a grievance with any other family member at your rink try to work the matter out with the family in private and one-on-one. If you try this and it does not work than you need to bring this to the attention of the figure skating director, the arena manager, and the figure skating club board ASAP. If you allow the other racist family to get any ground ahead of you on a grievance than it will be very difficult to make your case to the higher authorities, especially if this family is already very active in the figure skating club, a board member, or has a lot of money and/or has been a long time member. Also try to document and try to get witness to what you document in case you have to bring the matter up at a board meeting.

Finally it has been my experience that discrimination occurs in the larger more competitive clubs as opposed to the small rinks. The larger more competitive clubs I feel have these issues not so much because of racial tension but because of competitive tension. Racial issues just compound the competitiveness of the arena. This is because the families that are racist have a very difficult time with a minority skater that is more competitive than their skater.

Too many parents in this sport get caught up in living through their childrens success. I have been guilty of this myself. It is very difficult to see other skaters that your child may have been more successful than in the past become better more successful skaters than your child. We as parents have to remember that our children are doing this for fun. This sport puts enough mental and emotional pressure on our children, we do not need to add to that pressure. If you feel that you and your daughter is not connecting with the families at the rink you are currently skating and you have the option to skate a another rink than I would recommend changing rinks. But only after you have made every effort to make a connection at the current rink your are skating. I don't think it is a good idea to send the message that this type of behavior is acceptable and that minorities can be easly run off by this type of behavior.

Finally, if you decide to switch to another rink it will be very clear to you which rinks have problems with racism and which don't. Especially since you have already had some experience with racism at your current rink. The rinks that do not have this problem have members that are very friendly and family oriented members. They will welcome you to their rink and make you feel like part of the family. It will not matter what level you skate or the color of your skin. The members will be happy just to make new friends and help their club and rink to grow.

I hope that this advice is helpful to all minority families that are struggling to connect with other families at the rink that they like to skate and have fun. Thank you, Season

Thank you so much for your comments… We're staying where we are at for the moment. And as you mentioned, the current political debate on immigration does cause all kinds to come out of the woodwork. The issues we've faced have not been limited to the ice rink, but in other areas of our life as well. Having to explain what “wetback” means and why we are being told to “go back to where we came from” has not been a particularly grand experience. However, as Season mentioned, turning tail and running isn't the answer either. Thankfully, not everyone out there is so narrow minded…

Well, come on up to Rolling Meadows, Princess! We've got a few Asian adult skaters among “the regulars”. One did the ice show and takes both group and private lessons, and the others mostly come to just about every public skate session. Regardless, the adult skaters at our rink are extremely supportive of each other.

i like to at least check it out for public skate one of these days. Doesn't the adult Chicago Jazz synchro team skate there as well? I wish our rink had an adult synchro team :T

They do, although I never seem to run in to any of them. None of the adult “regulars” (those who come to the weekday public skate) are on the team (even though many of them are quite good). The couple of adult skaters I do know who do synchro do it with a team out of Seven Bridges. I was told the average age of those team members is the high 40s!

OMG. I live right by Seven Bridges. I didn't know there was an adultsynchro team out there. WHat is the name of the team so I can read about them at least? Thanks!

Oh, sorry, but I have no idea. I do know they rehearse on Saturday evenings, so I am sure you can call the Seven Bridges rink and find out more information. From what the ladies were saying, Seven Bridges is not the team's home rink (in fact some team members had never even been to the synch team's true home rink, because they do all their group practices at Seven Bridges). Still, Seven Bridges should be able to tell you who is using their ice. I will also try to find out more for you the next time I run in to one of the team members.

Niuiceprincess, if you're still following this, the team is called “Radiance on Ice”. I think they might have the summer off (not clear about that), but I am told they will be out of Seven Bridges again this coming year. I am told they have a web site, so you might do a search and check it out. Good luck!

does india skate in maryland? she has long dark hair and she’s short? if its her, she helped me learn BXOs!^_^ she’s really nice

does india skate in maryland? she has long dark hair and she's short? if its her, she helped me learn BXOs!^_^ she's really nice

I’m an African-american Instructor; have been for 10 yrs. I worked at one rink for 6 years, predominately White, no problems that I knew of (although I saw other Instructors who were hired after me, given Privates. I never complained). Last year a new Skating School Director took over. Her policy was “If there are enough Groups to go around, you’ll be called; if not, don’t call.” First thing she did was to not call three of us who’ve worked there the longest back-myself included. She brought in 3 “Program Assistants” – not legal aged yet to be able to teach, but my speculation is that when they’re legal, they’ll slide into our spots. I’m not saying “Don’t bring your own people in” or “don’t bring in more Professionals- that would be absurd; plus naturally it’s the director’s call; she can do whatever she likes but I say it wasn’t fair to drop 3 of us who’ve been at that rink when it opened, closed, then reopened, with NO FS until last year; however we, the previous director, and other instructors were faithful in helping to build up the LTS program before her.  Not only that-at last year’s before-season meeting, she told us she’d like us to look more uniform; the rink wold order jackets, we’d pay partially; the rink would pick up the slack. When those jackets came in, no one had the common courtesy to either call, or notify me via E..until I saw a photo on the rink’s website that included the Pros and Instructors wearing them. That’s when I sent an E to the director asking about my jacket; I picked it up and still have never been called back.

This experience was upsetting, disappointing, and I really don’t know if I want to continue teaching. I truly love skating and teaching Groups…skating has helped me through some tough times and I love giving back…but now I am having second thoughts, i.e. if I go to another rink, will the same b.s. happen again? Some have told me “I’ve done nohting wrong. It’s the old game of office politics; don’t let one bad experience keep you from doing what you love to do-do that, and that director ‘wins.’

Thanks for listening; good luck