Ask the Ice Moms: Where Did My Figure Skater Put Her Doubles?

Today’s question comes from a frustrated mom whose daughter has misplaced all of her doubles over the summer.

We are almost finished our summer skating and things have not progressed as planned for my daughter. Instead of getting her jumps consistent, she has lost most of her doubles. Her spins and footwork have improved, but she is very frustrated about the jumps. She focuses (and obsesses) about every little detail, such as “My leg is wrapped,” or “It was cheated,” instead of being happy when she does land the jump. The result is that she is psyching herself out and now steps out of almost all her jumps.  What can I do????

She is 13 and she may have grown a bit, but had a growth spurt last year, so we went through her “losing” her jumps and spins then. Thought she’d got them back! I think part of it is intimidation, as this is the first time she’s been on ice with all higher-level skaters, so she’s comparing herself with them (and continually thinking she’s the worst one out there, etc)  She is a perfectionist so every little mistake becomes a major thing as “It has to be perfect.”  If I try to tell her she is doing something well, she tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about, or I’m lying to her. Very frustrating (for me!)

Xan, adult skater, figure skating coach, parent of a Junior Nationals competitor and current show skater, and blogger at Xanboni, Sconeday, and Mahlzeit.

First, where do the jumps go?  Who knows. The jump fairy steals them back. This is so common at this age.  Keep in mind that growth spurts are not the only body changes at this age–her entire shape is changing, altering her center of gravity; hormonal changes also affect soft body tissues like ligaments and tendons, and of course change the way her brain functions, which affects her entire approach to skating.

Some ways to think about this: A skater “has” a jump when she/he is landing it 70% of the time over a microcycle (say a week).  One practice session is not enough time to decide that a jump is lost. Have her keep a log over 5 to 10 practice sessions. If she’s landing 7 out of 10, she hasn’t lost the jump.  She might be surprised at just how well she’s doing.

Some ways to practice through the problem period: Always start with your hardest jump. Do any drills the coach has given to help the jump, for maybe 5 minutes. Then do 10-15 jump passes. That’s it. Don’t do fewer, don’t do more. If you don’t even attempt the jump on one of the passes, it still counts. STOP at 15, no matter what, even if you haven’t landed it. This takes a lot of the anxiety, because the goal is no longer “land the jump,” now the goal is “try it 15 times.” Instant success. Then work a little (say 5 passes) on your newest jump. Finish with your strongest jump.  When you’re in a period of frustration, always finish your practice with your strongest element.

Sk8rmom p, mom to an intermediate-level male figure skater

I asked my IceBoy, (Intermediate level skater around the same age as your DD) who is coming back from injuries this year, for his thoughts.   He has gone through no jumps for 6 weeks a couple times this year, and had to back off for another two weeks once he started back.  He knows the emotional roller coaster of recovering his double jumps three times in 7 months.

Here’s what he had to say:
You can’t be afraid of falling.  If you can’t land a particular jump that day, then come back to it tomorrow.  Just go out there and jump to land them.  If she is landing the jumps, then stepping out of them, then she’s just got to fight for them (because she’s so close to landing them).

On skating with higher level skaters: hold your ground, don’t be intimidated by them. (mom’s note: they were where you are now, earlier in their careers)

On perfectionism (IB is a recovering perfectionist): The jump doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to be able to land it.  (his coach always tells him that he can’t wait for the perfect conditions or the perfect jump, it will never happen.  IceCoach himself is still waiting for the perfect jump.  You just have to do it.)

This mom says: What does her coach say?  Personally, I would have a conversation with her coach to find out what he/she thinks the difficulty is so that you can start to address the problem.  Talk to the coach about her attitude and what she is saying to herself.  I know that not all coaches are as responsive, but it’s worth a shot.

If it’s mental, then address it with reading some mental training books or have your DD read them.  There are some very good ones like “The Mind Gym” and “Awakening the Olympian Within”.  Skate specific books are Linda Ross’ “Mind Body Conditioning for Competitive Figure Skaters”, “The Inner Champion” by Choeleen Loundagin.

If it’s something else like the growth spurt or changing body type, then talk to your skater and explain how the muscles have to learn new patterns when the body changes.  Girls especially have a harder time when they start to round out.  Split second timing is so essential in jumps that any little change can mean a lot of re-training.  Help her to see the positive things she has accomplished so far.

Even if it’s not only mental, based on what you have said, I would still recommend doing some type of mental training with your DD, since it will help in the future.

Does you DD have goals?  Goals help to keep the eye one step at a time rather than the whole mountain at once.  Guide her to write them down.  Be specific.  Read up on SMART goal setting.  USFS has some literature on it, or you can look it up on the web.  Have her journal every week a summary of what she has done.  There is likely something that she has gotten better at, especially if she has set goals.  If she has an exceptionally good skate session, have her journal about it.  What went right, how was she thinking.  How can she re-create that type of session again.  Goals will also help her stop focusing on how she is doing compared to other skaters.  It is about comparing herself to herself.  In Figure skating and in life, that is one of the best lessons we can teach our children.

Mentally, learn about positive self talk (any of the books mentioned above will help) and have her do it.  I realize that if she doesn’t want to do it, you can’t make her, but deep down teens want help, talk to her in a logical manner.  If she doesn’t do it, then… if she does do it then possibly… let her reason it out for herself.  What does she have to lose?

Teach her visualization: visualize landing the jumps…(learn about this in the books recommended)

As for when she’s out there skating.  Her coach is the best person to ask about what exercises she should be doing.  IceCoach always has IB go back to basics.  Really work the single jumps, then back up to doubles.  IB has been growing steadily for the last year and a half.  There was a period of at least 6 months when after every weekend he had to recapture his jumping technique because he had grown.  Frustrating, yes, but that’s just how it is when you are a teen figure skater.

When he was off jumping due to injuries, he started to worry a lot.  Each time we rationally talked about how he was able to re-learn and land his jumps after not skating a while before, so he could do it again.  Your DD was able to land her doubles after having to learn them again once, so she will be able to do it again.  Each time they have to start again, they are strengthening their foundation, cleaning up their basic technique.  That will set the foundation for triples in the future.  I always try hard to find the silver lining in the dark clouds.  Though kids might not find it comforting right away, they can see the logic in it.

The language we use is so important in this incredibly mental sport (haha, mental in more ways than one ) Personally I have re-trained both of us so that we never use “lose my jumps”.  Jumps are never really “lost” they just need to be worked on so that one can land them.  “Lost” sounds so final.  And, (with deference to Ice Mom and co.) I don’t use the “stupid” word for any jumps because it makes it sound like the person jumping has no control over it.  The skater has the ability to do the jump, the jump has no power over them (although) it might seem like it at the time.  A little use of language can go a long way.  DS never heard that he could “lose” his axel, so he never did.  He couldn’t land it once in a while, but because he didn’t have that mental possibility of it “going away totally”, it wasn’t a big deal.  Challenge the mainstream thinking.  Who says that kids have to “lose” their axel?  If the kid never hears this is standard, they never know it do they?

Good luck.  Teenage years are difficult to begin with.  When you have a teen in this sport, it’s even more challenging.  When you are frustrated, think of the wonderful lessons your DD is learning along the way.  It’s like a mini life laboratory, this sport is a great metaphor for life and the kids can’t help but learn some great life skills if guided to see them.

Allison Scott, mom to an Olympic figure skater, survivor of many rinks, professional communicator, and blogger at Life on the Edge.

Have you ever left a room with a lot on your mind only to find that you don’t remember what you were looking for? Jumps are a lot like that.

When there is “information overload,” sometimes the things that are part of muscle memory and have been there for seemingly the longest time, will take a short vacation as they have to figure out their place and importance in the new order of things.

The most difficult thing for skaters to realize (and parents, too) is that technical does not equal technique. In our rote way of learning, jumps are technically taught. Spins are technically taught. Footwork is technique. There is a difference. Now, you have two technical skills that have to be integrated into technique in order to produce a program. Brain waves are in synapse. The mind is saying, “You want me to do WHAT??? Okay, I can only process one thing at a time, so here goes. We’ll figure out the footwork. We’ll figure out the spins. I’ve got the jumps, so I’m – well – just going to leave them outta the equation for the moment. We’ll get back to it. Promise!”

As I have said before – and will keep repeating until someone out there hears me – this is a PROCESS. It is a marathon; not a sprint. Everyone develops differently and learns differently. But the brain can only deal with so much information at one time. Young skaters quickly get on overload. In their minds, they are on long division but they are being given algebraic formulas.

Patience on your part, and continued practice on theirs will win out.

S.L., mom to a high-school-age figure skater and a long-time figure skating club board member

One question I would ask is if she has ever worked with “dartfish” or if her Coach has videotaped her? We went through this somewhat. Once she saw her jumps and the coach went through the positives he saw, and made a plan for what needed to be changed or improved the attitude dropped some. It’s hard to make things better when they don’t “see” what they are doing wrong. It helps when the skater is part of the “process for improvement”:-)13 is a hard age to give feedback as a mom. Hopefully the Coach is addressing some of the frustration of the skater.
Good Luck!

Pairs Mom, mom to 1/2 of last year’s Junior Nationals intermediate-level pairs gold medalists.

Sometimes skaters can be highly critical of themselves.  As the parent, I try to be the positive one and no matter what they say, what kind of “mood” they are in, or how down they are, I will continue to be complimentary and encouraging.  Try saying, “I know you must really love this sport because you are working SO hard”.  I’ve also heard a coach say “Even Olympic champions have off days!” Here’s another suggestion, “Even though you may be discouraged about your _____________ (jumps, etc.) I can see that you have really improved on your ___________ (spins, speed, etc.)  There’s no reason you can’t ask another parent to say something to her since she is not convinced when you say these things!

There can be several reasons for the problem, some of which is normal for teenage girls who enter a stage of “self-doubt” that can last a couple of years.

Here’s a checklist
1. Do the skates fit properly?  Has the foot grown?
2. Measure her height
3. Does she have muscle soreness or stiffness i.e. growing pains?
4. Do other peers approach her and make negative comments?
5. Have you discussed this with the coach to ask for suggestions?
6. Is she critical of herself in other areas besides skating?  If so, gotta get her to talk to you about her feelings.

Keith, an adult figure skater

Growth spurts will continue for another year or so, I would think, so could be mostly just your daughter having to readjust her balance and coordination, She will find the jumps again, she only needs to be patient and not get so frustrated. She should be thrilled her spins and footwork have improved. Remember it is ICE skating  and not Jump skating. Spins and footwork are equally important and just as beautiful (and worth just as many points in a competition) as the jumps.

A young girl just entering her teens can be difficult in so many ways. Perhaps she has other things and other worries on her mind besides jumps. I am glad to read that you are supportive of your child and are offering praise and support but sadly these words coming from a parent seldom have the weight and reception that they should. If she is so intimated by the other high level skaters at the rink, I am sure if a few of them would offer some words of encouragement to her it would go a long way to alleviating her fears and boost her confidence. Does she know or speak with any of the other skaters, high level or otherwise? Maybe if some of the other coaches at the rink would offer just a few words of encouragement or praise?

Being self critical can be a constructive thing but only so far as it does not progress to the point of being self destructive. Nothing in ice skating comes easily. She needs to realize she is growing in many other ways besides just landing her jumps. Skating teaches so many positive and outstanding character traits – discipline, hard work is rewarded, excellent balance, posture, self confidence, self assurance, strong bones, excellent health, mental stamina, close friendships, patience and countless other positive things.

Ice Mom, parent of Ice Girl, a high-school-aged figure skater

I’d have a conversation with this figure skater about pancakes. Making one deformed pancake doesn’t mean you’ll have to feed the rest of the batch to the dog. Even though the pancakes come out of the same bowl of batter, making one deformed pancake doesn’t mean you won’t have breakfast. Just pour another one onto the griddle.

Jumps are like that. So are spins. One lousy jump doesn’t mean that the rest of the jumps during that ice session will be bad. Just feed it to Fido and move on.

The problem is this skater’s mental soundtrack. Instead of hearing pull in, cross your legs or whatever figure skating words she should be hearing, her mind is repeating can’t, can’t, can’t. She should try narrating in her head what she’s supposed to be doing so her mind is occupied with something useful. She also needs to be her own best friend out on that ice. When she lands a jump she should tell herself good job, just like a friend would do. When she doesn’t land it, she should say, that’s cool. Try again.

I’m also a big believer in belief. Positive visualization and believing she can do it will take her a long way. I wrote about the role of luck a month ago. It’s scientific: if we believe we’re lucky, we are. She just has to tell herself she can do it often enough that she begins to believe it. After all, she’s begun to believe she can’t do it, right? Good luck! You can borrow my fairy dust, if you like.

What do you think, parents? Have you seen this skater’s lost doubles? Where do you think she might have put them? What would you do if your figure skater lost her doubles and didn’t know where to find them?

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Thank you, Anonymous reader, for sending me and the Advisory Board this question. If you have a question for Ice Mom and the Advisory Board, I would love to receive it! I’m passing two on today, but I need a dilemma for Friday, August 27 yet.

Thank you to all the readers who have sent me ideas for blog posts. I really, really appreciate them! If you have an idea, don’t hesitate to let me know! If you’d like to write a guest post, that’d be great, too! E-mail me at IceMom.Diane@gmail.com

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Photo credits:
Lost mitten: George Vnoucek on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Urban Wisdom: rtgregory /Roger Gregory on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Oh, of course. Now I see.: dvs / Doug Shick on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Lost.: [charlie cravero] / carlo cravero on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Lost-found: snappybex / Bex Ross on Flickr.com Creative Commons
LOST COAT!: Iain Farrell on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Lost: Slipper: jaqian on Flickr.com Creative Commons