Commandment Six: Respect Figure Skating Judges

VI. Thou shalt not criticize the judges. If you complain about the judging or results, don’t be surprised when your child models your behavior and acts out against other authority figures in his life. He learned it from you.

- Professional Skaters Association’s Ten Commandments for Parents

This is the sixth installment in my series where I look at each of the Professional Skaters Association’s Ten Commandments for Parents and see if I agree with it, how much I violate it, and vow to be a better rink citizen.

The PSA, or the Professional Skaters Association, is the governing body for figure skating coaching in the United States. Their site (just redone) is really for coaches, but it does contain a small amount of parent information. In addition to the document about how to switch coaches, you can find the PSA’s Ten Commandments for Parents.

Other commandments in this IceMom.net series: I / II / III / IV / V / VI / VII / VIII / IX / X

Really, PSA? You’re telling me that criticizing judges will lead to my child’s delinquency? She’ll start skipping school, smoking on street corners, and flipping off the cops? Come on. Don’t you think this is a bit much?

Alright. I agree with the idea that we shouldn’t insult the judges. I understand that they’re volunteers. I respect their time, effort, and training.

However, PSA, sometimes I think a judge is wrong. This will not lead to discussions with Ice Girl’s parole officer. This will lead to a discussion about what the judge might have seen and how to fix it. It will lead to a discussion about how to deal with life when you believe something’s been unfair. Do you want to be in a sport that’s judged by a person instead of a stopwatch? How will you accept this judge’s decision with a champion attitude?

As a result of my journalism training, I have this free speech thing going on. PSA, telling me not to express an opinion starts me ranting about the First Amendment. I start looking for a soap box to stand on an a windmill to destroy.

Today on Rinkformation:

IceMom.net: Commandment Six: Respect Figure Skating Judges
SynchroMom.net: Synchronized Skating Teams Sharing the Ice with Figure Skaters

Does that mean that I confront the judges and wave my finger in their faces? Um, no. Am I going to complain loudly about judges anytime Ice Girl doesn’t skate well? Um, no. Am I going to support Ice Girl if she blames every wobble and two-footed jump on biased judging? No way.

But I will talk about the judging experience with my skater. We’ll do it respectfully and in a way that honors the judge’s opinion, but I’m not going to pretend that I hold a different opinion. And I’m not going to do it in a loud voice in the rink lobby.

In the end, the only thing my figure skater can control is her own skating. If she does her best, no one can ask for anything else. The question isn’t “Why did that judge give me that score?” but “What am I going to do about it?”

PSA, I agree that parents shouldn’t be belligerent jerks and complain loudly about judges. The judges are volunteers and they’re doing their best. I get it.

However, I think a conversations about judges are useful. Just ask my parole officer. (Joke. Ha. Joke.)

What do you think? Do you think that criticizing judges will lead to your skater’s eventual disrespect for authority? Is it ever O.K. to have the conversation about judges and fairness?

For more about judges, see What to Do When Figure Skating Judges Seem Unfair.

Do you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board? Is there a post topic you’d like to suggest? Better yet, is there a post you’d like to write? Fabulous. E-mail me at IceMom.Diane@gmail.com

Photo credits:
FBI Police:Supervisor: cliff1066™ / Cliff on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Police Car Lights: davidsonscott15 / Scott Davidson on Flickr.com Creative Commons
On the job….. NSW Police Force Highway Patrol: Highway Patrol Images on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Volkswagen Beetle Police Car: Tim in Sydney / Tim Gillin on Flickr.com Creative Commons

http://twitter.com/skating_howto Gigi

Fantastic post. Parole officer. Classic! On a more serious note though yes I whole heartedly agree. It took me a lot of years (my whole skating life, in fact) to get up the guts to confront judges in a respectful and curious manner as to why I got what I did. Like you said, it’s not about ‘why did you give me that?!’. It’s about ‘what did I do for you to give me that?’. That said, when an opponent has skated the WRONG EDGES (arthghhh sorry pet hate) in a compulsory dance and finishes above me, I have never hesitated to tell the judges I am in contact with that I find it incomprehensible. It’s always going to be a sticky one, but as long as parents (and skaters) do it with tact and respect you have the right to gather information. After all it’s your time, money, effort, belief, dream. Life!
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

Hey, Gigi. I’m glad you liked the parole officer thing. I think this commandment is kind of over-the-top. I know PSA doesn’t want us to scream at judges, but telling us that any criticism is a slippery slope to juvenile delinquency is kind of much.

I don’t approach judges, though. I leave that to Ice Coach. Well, really, we mostly debrief in the van. But do we analyze the results with a critical eye? Yep. I think it’s helpful.

Judges are human, after all. They do their best, but they’re human. I’m cool with that. But I’m totally going to pick apart the results. You bet. How else will Ice Girl learn?

We also model proper criticism in the van. We don’t comment on the ratty fur coats, blue hair, or bizarre hats. Well, not much.
Jozet at Halushki

Oh, sure, if by extension, this rule is reprimanding me for an entire parenting style in which I always insist that My Precious is always above reproach and that I or she Always Knows Better…yes, I may possibly be sending more jail cell filler into the real world.

Otherwise, what you said. Well said!
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

True. If I’m setting my kid up to think she’s perfect and above reproach, then you’re right: I’m unleashing a monster into the world. I totally agree.

Ha! Ice Girl as Godzilla! Watch out, Tokyo!
http://synchromom.net/2010/08/synchronized-skating-teams-sharing-the-ice-with-figure-skaters/ Synchronized Skating Teams Sharing the Ice with Figure Skaters | Synchro Mom

[...] IceMom.net: Commandment Six: Respect Figure Skating Judges SynchroMom.net: Synchronized Skating Teams Sharing the Ice with Figure Skaters [...]
skatingjudge.blogspot.com

That’s life in the figure skating world isn’t it? Blame the judges, learn life is unfair, and move on to try and change it for next time. Learning that I didn’t always win and sometimes results were just wrong gave me a better outlook as a child. There are not very many opportunities, I feel like, in this world anymore that teach children that things are sometimes just not fair. Schools hand out awards to everyone, everyone is invited to birthday parties, etc. Skating teaches us about real life.

That being said I’ve just started a blog about my new career as a figure skating judge – feel free to visit and ask some questions – I’d love to share: http://www.synchronizedaxels.blogspot.com
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

I’m off to check out your blog! What a great resource! I can’t wait!
skatingjudge.blogspot.com

Oops – you linked my personal blog – my judging blog is found at http://www.skatingjudge.blogspot.com – or maybe I linked it – I haven’t had enough coffee yet maybe
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

You can go back and edit your original comment and change the link, if you’d like.

*This link makes more sense!*
Anonymous

I agree with the root of the statement PSA makes. I think that the way we as parents respond to the judging is the way our children will learn to deal with things in the future. I can’t count how many times I hear my words parroted back as answers to questions people ask my son about skating, about judging about life. LOL, and he’s 14 (who says that teenagers don’t listen or watch what we do?).

So I would dare to say that yes, the way that you handle yourself and the things you say about the judging, about unfair situations about the coaches about other skaters all will come back to haunt you in the future. Model thoughtful and judicious behavior and your child will be that much ahead of the game.
But probably not lead to a parole officer LOL. Just potentially a bad attitude…

Seriously though, there is so much disrespect in classrooms and in the world lately. The very parents who model yelling at judges, etc are the ones who do this at teachers and store clerks as well. It’s probably what they saw their parents do. It’s a cycle, unless the kids are so embarrassed that they change their behaviour so as not to be like their parents.

You can start your kid off on a champion attitude or a whiny one. Because if it’s the judge’s fault, then they will be going to each and every competition waiting for a judge to call it “right”. The skater won’t look beyond the fact that it was the judge’s “fault” and won’t work on their own skating skills that might have caused it.

Of course there will be times when it seems totally unfair, and maybe it was, but with the right attitude, skaters will not burn out and feel hopeless if they understand that it’s their job to skate their best and let the chips fall where they may.

I most definitely commiserate with my skater and talk about what a bummer it is, but then we move on. The scoring is what it is, and there is nothing that we can do about it (unless it’s something technically wrong and the coach can deal with).

The judges are there to help you strive for the best, they are people too and have biases. All our skaters and we can do is the best and we can cross our fingers that everything comes together.
Anonymous

I agree that kids should have a healthy respect for authority but not to the extent that they look at judges or any authority figure as a “god” exactly. Everyone is fallable and human. I would never be critical with a judge face to face but in the privacy of the car I think I few mild comments disagreeing with a judge are not all bad… Disagreement is fine, out and out rude disrespect is not. (In the same way we are repsectful to the police officer giving us a speeding ticket but grumble about it as we drive away!) Each skater will learn that every judge has a slighty different opinion on their skating, some judges will love them – others will not. Every judge is a volunteer – although I do think some of them are… ummm… a little past their prime. Not that I’m against “older” judges but I am also a person who believes that EVERYONE above age 60 should have to re-take a driver’s test every year too… Doesn’t hurt to check that eyesite ;~)
skatingjudge.blogspot.com

I’m not sure how to do that – still getting used to Disqus – help!!!
Xan from Xanboni

They say “disrespect for authority” like that’s a *bad* thing!
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

If you’re signed into Disqus, you should be able to see an Edit button next to the Reply button under your comment.

To sign into Disquss you can either 1) make a comment or 2) sign in at http://disqus.com. If you sign in at Disqus.com, you’ll need to come back here and refresh the page to see the little Edit button.

Thanks so much for stopping by! I’m really looking forward to having you in the conversation!
Jozet at Halushki

Hippie!
Anonymous

I only signed in using a guest ID – do you mind just deleting the comment all together and I’ll repost with my new disquis ID.

Thanks so much!!!
(PS: I’m a long time fan of yours – and you were one of the reasons to inspire me to start a judge blog – I found coaches, moms, and skater’s out there…but us judges are poorly represented!)
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

Hey, skatingjudge!

I was able to go in and *edit* that site. Now the link is correct. I didn’t know I could do that! The power! I feel the power!

Thank you for the kind words about my blog. I agree: the judge’s voice is unheard. I think we could clear up so many misconceptions with just some dialogue.