Ask the Ice Moms: Help! Jumping with My Figure Skating Coach Terrifies Me

Today’s dilemma comes from I.T., who is terrified to let her figure skating coach help her jump with a harness.

I’m a skater and I’m having a problem with my coach aiding me. I will not be able to execute the moves as long as she tries to hold onto me, or even as much as use the harness. Once my coach tried to give me a push while holding onto me when I was doing a one-foot spin and I flew across the ice. Since then, I’ve been fearful of my coach in giving me support. I cannot perform the moves when I’m being held, but when I’m in the center of the ice alone, I have no problem doing it.

However, it’s posing a problem for me as I’m currently learning my Axel and I can’t get the feeling of the jump. I simply refuse to jump with harness or let my coach hold on to me while I jump. How do I overcome this mental block? It’s not only in figure skating that this problem appears, it has even affected my gymnastics too, where spotting by the coach is so important.

Skittles Skates is an adult figure skater who blogs at Skittles_Skates. She has passed her Pre-Bronze free and Bronze MITF test, competed on a synchro team, battled injuries, and taught LTS Snowplow Sam classes.

In my opinion, the only way to get over it is to let both your skating coach and your gymnastics coach know what the problem is. You know that it is mostly irrational (I too have been pushed over by a coach on a bad “assist,” so I can see how it’s a somewhat rational fear), and that you have to let them spot you and assist you. So you need to state your fear and ask them for their help getting over it. They might be more careful about what they choose to spot, and what they choose to let you just try on your own. (I personally don’t like my coach holding me, or pushing my foot in a camel, for instance, but I just take a deep breath and tell myself to try and see if what he is doing changes what I am doing. I, however, LOVE the harness.) For me, I’d definitely take that deep breath and give the harness a try before I commit myself to the million falls learning the Axel without it will take…

Pairs Mom, mom to 1/2 of last year’s Junior Nationals intermediate-level pairs gold medalists. Pairs Mom is at Midwestern Sectionals today – good luck to her son and his partner!

It sounds like you have developed a “mental block” because of a bad experience. This is something that you can work at getting over, but it will take time. You should do your best to keep all lines of communication open with your coach and perhaps you could say, “Is there another way we can try this because this isn’t working for me” or tell your coach about your fears. Keep in mind that your coach is on “your team” and really is looking out for your best interest. The harness is not only used as a teaching tool but also as a safety tool to prevent repeatedly falling while learning a new element much like a spotter is used in gymnastics. Just think, if you did not have a spotter in gymnastics how many times you would land on your head or injure your neck! I’m afraid if you don’t allow your coach to assist you then you are holding yourself back and it could possibly take you much longer to master new elements. Keep trying!

Deb Chitwood is the mom of two international competitors (Will in pairs and Christina in ice dance) turned skating professionals. Deb is also a Montessori writer and a blogger at Raising Figure Skaters.

I asked my son, Will, who’s a skating coach, what he’d recommend. Will suggested that you try visualizing yourself doing your jumps successfully. Then visualize yourself doing your jumps successfully with your coach’s assistance. If that doesn’t help, you might want to try seeing a sports psychologist. A good sports psychologist can often help with a mental block. A lot of athletes have had great luck using sports psychologists for all sorts of issues. [From Ice Mom: you can visit Will's skating blog at ChitwoodSkating.com.]

Ice Mom, parent of a high school-aged figure skater.

I think fear like this is very frustrating because you know it’s hindering your progress as a figure skater, but you can’t prevent it, either. I think you should talk to your coach about it. Your coach might have some ways that you can overcome your fear gradually.

I also like Will Chitwood’s advice about visualizing yourself completing the jumps successfully in the harness. Visualization is a powerful tool because belief is a powerful thing. If we believe we can accomplish something, often it becomes self-fulfilling.

I’d couple the visualization with positive self-talk. It doesn’t have to be much, but it should replace the Oh my God, Oh my God thoughts that are running through your head. It could be I can do this or I am brave. I think that neutral words that narrate your actions are best. I’m not a skater, so bear with me as I muddle through an example: Three. Turn. Swing leg. Twist. Land. One foot. Maybe ask your coach to give you the steps for the jump. In any case, you want words that will help you complete the jump instead of negative words that will increase your anxiety.

I also think that determination helps. When I was fresh out of college and at my first teaching job, I was miserable. Those kids ate my lunch. One day my principal asked me: Are you going to let those kids talk you out of a job? I didn’t know what to say. And then it hit me: I am older and sneakier than all of those kids put together. I am patient. I can plan for them. I will outwit them and I will survive. That’s what I did.

I’m telling you this story because I told it to Ice Girl two months ago when she fell on her face while attempting a double Salchow. She needed eight stitches above and below her eye. She was worried she wouldn’t have the courage to jump again. I told her to fill her head with positive thoughts and to lock away the negative ones. Then I told her that she’d worked too hard and dreamed too much to allow some jump to get the better of her. Don’t let your fear win. Spend time trying to outwit it.

What advice would you give this skater to overcome her fear of working with her figure skating coach on the jump harness? What has worked for you when you’ve tried overcoming your fears? Please share your triumphs in the comments.

Thank you, I.T., for today’s question for the Advisory Board. If you have a question for Ice Mom or a dilemma for the Advisory Board, please e-mail me. If you e-mailed me and I didn’t respond, go ahead and give it another shot. I don’t mind a nudge every once in the while to keep me on track! E-mail me at IceMom.Diane@gmail..com

Photo credits:
I’m Brave Kent County Girls on the Run April 06, 20103: stevendepolo / Steven Depolo on Flickr.com Creative Commons
brave heart: tanjila / tanjila ahmed on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Take Courage: paul-simpson.org / Paul Simpson on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Daring Feats of Courage!: CarbonNYC / David Goehring on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Courage: RecoilRick / Rick Pecoraro on Flickr.com Creative Commons

Anonymous

My daughter hates the harness at our rink too, more so just because it’s uncomfortable. She says that she just tries to do her very best while she’s in it so that the coach will take it off ASAP and let her try the jump without it! Luckily our coach does not use the harness a lot though. Axels can be tricky, I remember my daughter could land one in the harness for awhile before she landed it on the ice. And here’s a little secret – her coach was just standing there holding the end of the rope – she wasn’t pulling up or assisting my daughter in any way! Sometimes the harness is more of a mental help than anything! We do not have any experience with the fishing pole type harness, not sure what type this coach is using. I do think that you need to be able to trust your coach though. This skater should maybe have a little heart to heart with their coach…. And best Axel wishes!
http://literarysymphonyonice.wordpress.com Antarcticlichen

My guess is that this one incident with the coach is not the only time that this skater has ever felt scared or out of control on the ice. How has this skater handled those feelings in the past when they haven’t been about the coach? That is probably the key for how this skater can trust the coach and try again because whatever the strategy was, it’s obviously something that has worked for this particular skater before.

When I’m attempting jumps that are new or taking them at speeds or with entrances that take the older ones to a new level of scary, I designate a spot that I will perform the jump on, period. I may have crazy thoughts coming into my head as I approach that spot but I keep my focus on four things: here, now, entrance (backwards crossover, 3-turn, or mohawk), eyes open. Then I try to remind myself how to breathe afterwards If I’m really freaked I break the jump into entrances and landings, going through how I get into it and how I come out of it without the jump part in the middle until those two aspects of it feel strong and natural. I can’t focus on my coach and the jump at the same time so once instruction has been given and I have a picture in my head of what I am to do, I always keep my focus on the jump. The focus even (perhaps especially) in harness should be on the jump or the rotation, not the harness or who is holding the harness. Working on the axel off-ice whenever the thought occurs and it is safe to do so will probably also help this skater with confidence. Don’t stew in scary thoughts. Redirect them to what your part is and practice that. Get enthusiastic about the joy you and your coach will feel when you’ve landed it correctly. When you get scared, you can focus on those happy, excited feelings you want to feel that your heart is already pumping faster and harder for in order to help you to get “into character”. How considerate of it to aid you in your triumphal visualizations, yes? And you thought those racing heart beats were there solely to stress you out!
Orangechiffon

I think the positive imagery is a good idea and since it’s affecting gymnastics you will have to get over it eventually. But you don’t have to learn the axel with the harness! It might take longer for you to get the feel of the jump without it. It’s a useful tool, but not necessary. With it, without it, you are eventually going to land that jump.
Anonymous

I think that there is a name for this phenomenon and it is “post traumatic stress disorder”. Yup, it can happen with “little” things as well as large life changing events. I was in a car accident and for what seemed like forever, I was terrified of brake lights in front of the car I was traveling behind. I eventually got over it with time and with more positive experiences of not getting rear ended each time the brake lights shone in the front of our car.

You too will be able to jump with confidence and assistance from you coach as you have more positive experiences. First talk to your coach frankly about it. I’m sure she/he already knows that you are having trouble when she/he assists you, just get it out in the open. Then come up with a gradual desensitization plan where you jump with her standing near you, then eventually having a hand on you with an element that you know you can do easily, possibly a waltz jump.

Do this a little at a time and gradually. Hopefully your coach will be patient with you and respect your difficulty. You also have to do some work towards trusting your coach. It was a fluke that you went flying. Give her/him a chance to earn your trust back. And give yourself a break for your reaction.

Unfortunately, if you want to progress, you will need to allow your coach’s hands on you even if it’s just guiding your leg into the correct position. The harness is an excellent tool that doesn’t have to be used often, but is very valuable at certain times. By refusing to use this too, you are severely limiting your coach’s ability to help you progress.

Do some progressive relaxation and visualization as was suggested. If you really can’t make progress on this issue, then go to the sports psychologist, it might be a larger life trust issue, that is manifesting itself in your sport, and you might need help getting over this challenge.

Good luck!
Anonymous

When I was just starting (had been skating for about a year or so) my coach was teaching me about all the different types of 1-foot turn, and was teaching me a back-to-forward bracket. First time I had ever tried it and he was going to hold me up. Well, we got to the turn and something happened right when I turned and there was no support and I just dropped like a stone. It was the most sudden awkward fall ever. Luckily I wasn’t too injured (as in, I could still skate sort of) so he made me do it again. Right away. And I didn’t fall the second time, although it wasn’t pretty at all. Although it doesn’t help much in this situation, I think the best way to get over the fear is to face it again as soon as possible after the initial event occurs. That way your brain doesn’t over-think the whole thing and freak out every time after that (which will usually cause more problems than just trying the original move), and instead remembers the most recent mostly successful attempt. Of course, major injury/hospital trips or long time thinking about certain scary moves can make things harder to get over. It will either take a lot of time/effort/team building with the student/coach, a lot of mental positive thinking, or a sport psychologist to help with long term issues.
Anonymous

I am not a skater so I cannot speak from that perspective, but imagery is a great piece to achieving your goals. Dd is the skater of our family and currently working on her axel – her coach has told her many times to imagine landing the jump successfully.

Know you can do it, believe in yourself – self guided imagery is amazing if you can let go and let it work.
Sierra

I do not trust anyone. Nada. Nope. But I do let my coaches assist me- because it’s not like they can really hurt me. I fall on my own anyway. And it doesn’t hurt any more in the harness than off if you fall without someone catching you.

The reason skaters fall when coaches assist them- not in the harness, but in a camel spin or turn or something- is because they get all loose and floppy. So then they go flying across the ice. If you pretend you’re doing the element without an assist, it’ll help you keep your core tight and go through with the element. When my coach pulls my hand around to start a camel spin, I get into the position and hold it tightly, instead of relaxing and subsequently doing some floppy half-camel-die thing.

What’s the worst that can happen in a harness? It might be uncomfortable. You might not like the weightless feeling you get after coming out of it. But truth be told, the coach can’t do anything to you in the harness. If they were big and strong, like a superhero, and you weighed 50 pounds, they could pull you way up and drop you. But how likely is that- you probably weigh more than 50 anyway. The harness is just a safety net. It’s meant to get skaters over mental blocks. And you’ve just gone and gotten a mental block over being in the harness with your coach on the other end. Oi, oi- what will I do with you (as my coach would say.)

It really helps to imagine that the harness isn’t attached to anything, that you just decided to wear a big belt on that day. I don’t particularly like the harness either, just because it’s a harness, but when my heart gets all racy I take a deep breath and pretend I’m not in the harness.

Just remember- you can’t really get hurt any worse with your coach than by yourself. You should be more afraid of accidentally kicking or falling on your coach than of getting hurt yourself. My coach constantly has to reassure me she’ll get out of the way fast enough.
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

I agree, Sk8nln. Imagery is so important. The power of belief is incredible.