Rewards for Figure Skating Accomplishments

I know that it’s pretty common practice to give a skater a reward for achieving a figure skating milestone. Ice Dad and I gave Ice Girl an iPod nano when she landed her Axel. I know parents who have rewarded their skaters for skating a clean program at Regionals with highlights for their hair. Other parents give money. Of course, some parents do nothing at all. I wrote about this in May: Be honest. Do you bribe your figure skater to complete jumps, spins?

Advisory board member and personal trainer sk8rmomp sent me an e-mail recently about her teenage son, sk8rsonp who skates at the Intermediate level and is a past competitor at Junior Nationals.

Sk8rsonp had just landed his first double Axel (then fell) the day before his second injury early this year. It’s been a long time since he could start working on it again, so this is big…

Sk8rsonp truly landed his double Axel yesterday (five times) and his coach jokingly said to him that I (mom) should give him something for it (sk8rsonp related this to me).

So that’s the background. I was talking with one of the other moms this morning, musing that if I were to “give” him something, what I would it be. To me, money seems to cheapen the achievement.

I asked sk8rsonp afterward and he said that he really didn’t want anything. (His coach gave him 1/2 of a $5 bill when he was close to landing the double Axel and then the other 1/2 when it was landed). But he said that after landing the single Axel, he didn’t need to receive anything (material). Maybe it’s age maturity…

I like that he feels it’s an accomplishment, that he doesn’t need external rewards other than people congratulating him. I think that ultimately as a parent intrinsic motivation and reward is my hope for my child because ultimately he is the one that needs to have the drive and the passion for anything he sets out to accomplish in life.

Of course, I’ll cook a special dinner for him, but I thought that it was a really great parenting moment and also an interesting subject for a blog. I never really considered the fact that giving money to your child for an accomplishment might cheapen the act and make it less wonderful, though I personally don’t believe in giving money for good grades, lost teeth and nose bleeds…haha

Just thought I’d like to hear other parents and coaches views on the subject if it works out.

I’d like to hear what everyone else is doing, too. Poor Ice Girl. Her reward for going after the double Salchow was eight stitches on her face (better now, but a scar. She looks tough.). I got her nothing for her double toe loop. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I was asleep in bed when she was popping off those double toes and Ice Dad was in the rink parking lot, snoozing in the van.

Maybe it’s normal to treat double jumps like the baby of the family. I can say this, because I am the baby of the family. My sister has a baby book and photo album full of photos and milestones from her infancy and toddler years. My baby book has a few cards from a baby shower and the first three pages filled out. Photos? Er. None.

Then again, that Axel (single, double, triple) is such an achievement, maybe it merits its own celebration, complete with swag and flair.

Do you reward your figure skater for every jump? What kinds of trinkets do you give your skater? Do you reward only jumps that begin with the letter A? For the skaters in the crowd, could you tell me if you need a little reward for your efforts? Does a new iPod cheapen your achievement? What’s the best bauble or gadget a skater can receive as a reward for her hard work?

Thank you, sk8rmomp, for sending in this question and congratulations to sk8rsonp on his double Axel. May he always know where to find it! If you have a question for Ice Mom or a really tough problem for the Advisory Board, send it my way! If you have a suggestion for a post you’d like to read, I’d love to hear from you. Send me an e-mail! IceMom.Diane@gmail.com

Photo credits:
Diamond Paperweight: stevendepolo / Steven Depolo on Flickr.com Creative Commons
February 1st [Rolex]: Håkan Dahlström on Flickr.com Creative Commons
CARdid – Ferrari: emrank / Emran Kassim on Flickr.com Creative Commons
iPad vs iPhone: bfishadow / Julien GONG Min on Flickr.com Creative Commons
Iceland Ponies: david.nikonvscanon / David Blaikie on Flickr.com Creative Commons

Lettie <3

Lol, the thing about landing jumps and winning competitions being accomplishments in themselves is exactly how my parents look at it!!! I don’t think they’ve ever bought me a gift for anything I’ve done on the ice, not even those sequin hard guards I wanted…I had to wait until my birthday lol. Though once my coach bought me this giant stuffed cheetah (there was a fight over which species of big cat it was, but it’s definitely a cheetah) for landing my double Lutz…my double Axel only took me about 6 weeks to land consistently but my double Lutz took 9 months. It was insane!!! Anyway, I love that cheetah. I made it a little skating costume out of the leftover material my mom had from making one for me, named it Sasha Cohen and it always comes to competitions with me, though my parents complain at having to hold it for me all the time. I think if you’re going to give your skater a gift to reward them for doing well on the ice (which is a very good idea!) you should give them something that will be of some sort of sentimental value to them, rather than something that will fade eventually like hair highlights. It doesn’t even have to be really expensive (Sasha Cohen the cheetah wasn’t). It could be something like a teddy bear that they could use like a good luck charm or something skate related that they’ll use every day, or at least every practice. Being rewarded with a new iPod would be good with me too…lol
Lynne

First, let me say congratulations to your son on his double axel! I think a special dinner to commemorate the occasion is a great idea.

We acknowledge major accomplishments, both on and off the ice, but not with money or gifts. Sometimes with a special meal, and other times just by telling our children how proud we are of their accomplishments. My skater is thrilled when he masters a new skill, which is the reward for all his hard work. The last time I bribed any of my kids was several years ago when I was potty training my youngest, and that was for my benefit. Skating is something my son does for himself. Sure I would miss watching him skate if he gave it up, but if he chose to stop skating and do something else, that would be fine with me, not that that’s likely to happen.
Anonymous

When my daughter landed her axel it was on my husband’s birthday, so there was a celebretory dinner that night, but it was a combo b-day/Axel dinner. ;~) I do think we got her some kind of gift but sadly I cannot remember what it was…. I once told my daughter she could have $100 to spend at the mall if she ever landed her double axel but so far in her lazy teen years she hasn’t been working too hard on it. She mostly only works on it with her coach and can land them just a tiny bit cheated. About two weeks ago she finally started to rotate them, well, only two were rotated and then she’d fall… Just last Wednesday she was working on them on her own and we *think* she may have landed one but of course no coach was watching at the time… She looked really closely on the ice and didn’t see any cheat… On the way home it was funny, I was like “I kinda think that double axel was clean…” and she was like “Me too!” giggle giggle…. I guess we’ll never know now, hopefully the coach will have her do them again soon. :~) I agree with what others have said about maybe getting them a more meaningful long lasting gift, like maybe a necklace or something. It should be something they really want though! And doesn’t not have to be really expensive IMO. And I do not really see the need for a reward for EVERY double, let’s face it some come easy, some don’t – maybe only a reward for the jumps that take them a long time to learn. Another thing I recently saw on the USFS website was that they now have a “Gold Medalist” jacket, it’s a black jacket with gold lettering. If your skater has passed her Senior Moves and/or Senior Free then you can order this jacket for them, you can have it customized, etc. I told my daughter about it, technically we could order it now as she has passed her Senior Moves, but I have offered it for when she passes her free as well so the jacket can come customized with both tests – I think that we be a nice recognition to be able to wear around the rink. I guess I could get it for her sooner – I need to check into if it can be sent back to them later for the Senior Free test to be embroidered on it….
Jozet

WHHOOOOOT! Double axel!

Yes, i think that the goal is intrinsic motivation.

That said, I think that the day I gave my daughter an M&M every time she did a death drop without her free foot popping off the ice, well, she new that it was more a token gesture to “sweeten” what she would have done anyway.

You know, sometimes I do these things for myself. I love writing, for instance. I do . But the discipline of doing it is sometimes difficult. My moods aren’t the same every day. My other life circumstances aren’t the same. I have different things on my mind getting in the way. Some days, it’s harder work that other days. I see nothing wrong with setting the treat for myself at the end of my day. Or the end of 1,000 words.

My daughter recently landed the last of the “easy” doubles – double lutz. I got her a donut. And a card telling her just how proud I was of her hard work – all her hard work, every morning, every afternoon, giving up some outings and being disciplined with homework – and how she should be proud (in the best way) of herself, celebrate her accomplishments. A gift, a special dinner, a card…a little recognition of just how spectacular we can be and overcome seemingly impossible obstacles when we put our mind and back into it…I see nothing wrong with that.
Newyorkland

I bought the girl’s skates/ make her costumes/ ect. isn’t that enough???? lol. She is 10. In our club when you achieve certain levels in testing you are put in higher numbers in the year end ice show. Big motivating factor for many of our skaters. However, for my 4 year old boy, he gets popcorn after each practice from the concession stand.
Jozet

Knew not new
Sierra

I don’t get any sort of rewards at all for landing x jump or getting y spin. My mother could care less what jumps I land. (Sounds cruel, but it’s just that she’s not really involved at all.) I don’t need to be bribed either- I land jumps because I really want to.

BUT, I do get rewards for schoolwork accomplishments. I get dinners out, and was once offered an iTouch but failed to complete schoolwork fast enough to get it. I’m also threatened with skating- if I don’t keep my schoolwork up-to-date (I’m homeschooled and do online school), I don’t get to go skating.
Anonymous

How timely. I was just asked this question at the rink this morning. My 9 yo daughter is landing her single axel on the pole harness unassisted and will be starting to jump without. One Mom asked me today what she gets when she lands it clean – I told the mom she will get her axel. Will we celebrate with high 5′s or a meal of her choice yes, but that is all that is in the plans.

I must admit though I LOVE the 5 dollar bill ripped in half. Congratulations!
Anonymous

Heads up on the Gold Medal jacket. I know a skater who just received theirs last weekend and the jacket is not good quality (IMO). Very thin – definitely not something to keep you warm in the colder rinks. The family also had Moves in the field and Dance embroidered on the sleeve – it looks like moves is a subset of Dance because the lettering is 2 different font sizes.
Anonymous

I never got rewards for any skating accomplishments from my parents. Skating was the reward for doing well in school though. Problems in school = no skating, although I don’t remember that ever being a problem, just a threat. As for food rewards and such, we would sometimes go out for nice meals after competitions, but that would happen because my parents wanted to go eat, and it did not matter how the placements ended up.

Actually I can’t think of any parents at our club who have bribes or rewards for skating achievements…

Although one time this coach was really frustrated with a skater (10 year old boy at the time) who started bailing on one of his double jumps the last practice before a competition. The skater had been really consistent for quite a while and was just having a bad night, but the coach didn’t want to have it be the last thing the skater remembered doing before the event. So he told the kid, you have one shot to go and land it and I will give you $20. The kid hadn’t landed one all night (or even really done the rotations) so everyone thought it wouldn’t happen. But you know, I have never seen such a nice landing…. So maybe there is something to the rewards system?

In general though I think that skating should be its own reward. If something is particularly difficult or took a long time then a reward seems like it would be fine, but I agree with many of the comments that it shouldn’t necessarily be expensive and rewards for things that come easy really don’t seem like rewards. I like the idea that SuperSkater mentioned with the Gold Medalist jacket – that seems like a very good reward that is relevant, earned, but also an “extra” reward from the event itself. Although this won’t apply in all cases I think that having the reward mean something to the skater is just as important as celebrating the achievement.
Anonymous

Ugh, that is a bummer. On the website they make the jacket look so nice! Urrggghhh. :~( Thanks for the info though, that is good to know.
Jozet

Thinking about it, I suppose that all parents are like this to some extent. I’m not sure why. There are definitely certain thinks my daughter does that don’t get acknowledged as much. She does well in school, but I don’t give her gifts every time she passes a test. She plays violin, but she doesn’t get a token for learning a new song. I’m not sure why one thing gets a little gift, but the other doesn’t.

I think that some of it may be that with skating, she’s really invested with her whole heart, mind, and body. For her, a skating accomplishment is a big deal, but it’s not something her friends or teachers or even other family members “get”. They know that graduating school is a big deal, because they’ve done it themselves.

I see my daughter sometimes tries to share her sheer thrill of having accomplished a new jump or move, but really, beyond the rink, people don’t get it. Here she is accomplishing this amazingly difficult and time consuming skill and, well, sometimes people just don’t understand how big a deal it is – people who would normally say, “An A+, that’s great!”.

Sure, the “prize” is the skill itself. But, you know, you skaters work hard to defy gravity every day. Usually, on your own. I think skating can be a bit lonely in that way. I think that’s where some of us are coming from when it comes to celebrating with our kids. Sure, they would do it anyway…the celebration or recognition is a nice icing on the cake they’ve already baked. Does that make sense?

btw, we take away skating, too as an incentive to get school work or chores done. If I took away violin, I think my daughter would cheer, lol.
Jozet

We do this, too. Normally, dresses are bought second hand off eBay. Costumes need to be “earned”. New higher level skates need to be “earned”. Again, if I see the hard work being put in, get thumb’s up from the coach, then the “prize” is continuing skating at a higher level or a bit of bling on a dress. Part incentive, part recognition of achievement.
Owly

When my axel is consistent, my coach will take me out to whatever restaurant I want for dinner/lunch. I’m pretty excited!

When I get my axel, my mom will give me a high five.

But to be honest, I don’t really care. I just want to LAND the stupid jump. Every other jump in the book I picked up after a few minutes of coaching, and this is the only jump that’s ever given me trouble. I’ve been working for six months on it (Plus new skates and a coach switch) and…It’s hard. I think that if the only reason I landed the axel was because I knew I was going to get something, I’d be kind of depressed.

[My coach says that she does something even more special for your double axel, but she won't tell me what. =/ And for other double jumps....not so much. It only applies to axels. I really want to know if Mao Asada got anything special for getting her first triple axel.... =]

I think that the best thing I could get for landing my axel would be more than a half hour lesson a week. I’d like that more than anything else.

Oh, I do get rewards for grades and stuff in school. For every A on a report card, I get five dollars. I always have high honor roll, so it’s 30$ a quarter, which is good because skating lessons are 30$ a half hour, which means I get an extra skating lesson for one week every quarter!! But those aren’t bribes, they’re just a little reward for the 5-7 hours of homework I do every night.
Anonymous

I have done rewards before…but usually like lunch out, or a manicure, or a sleepover with a friend..but only for those looming things that were really taking the wind out of her sails. I did that for double lutz because she had so many doubles to learn in such a short time. I will probably do something for double axel too..and maybe the first triple. Of course she JUST turned 10.
Anonymous

We do a donut often times on Friday mornings when she has had a particularly productive practice/lesson with a positive attitude.
Guest

“btw, we take away skating, too as an incentive to get school work or chores done. If I took away violin, I think my daughter would cheer, lol.”
I can relate. My dd loves music, but still… getting her to practice violin every day can be brutal. For a while we would reward her with a trophy after 100 days of daily practice (amazing how motivating a cheap trophy can be!).

I don’t think I’ve ever done anything for first landing a jump. Maybe we got a Jamba juice on the way home when she first got her axel. My daughter LOVES working on new stuff—especially jumps. Then when she starts landing a new jump, she’s so excited that any reward would just seem inconsequential (though I’m sure she would happily take it if I offered). She’s now working on the double Axel and wants to land it properly before she turns 10 in June. Maybe it will happen, maybe not. It doesn’t really matter. The harder, less exciting part for her will come afterward—refining technique, increasing consistency/height/speed/spin revolutions, working through off days (or weeks). Occasionally, I’ve offered rewards (bribes?) when it seems like she could use a little extra motivation or focus in her practice. These have ranged from a quarter for maintaining her arm position and posture while practicing moves to an iPod for 10 clean, well-performed run-throughs of her preliminary freeskate during the week before a big competition. This last was when she was struggling with consistency and my objective was to get her to practice with the same focus and determination that she would need for competition. She got her iPod, demonstrated to me and (to herself) that she could skate clean when she really wanted to, and the program got better. Didn’t win the competition, but I think that there was a good lesson there somewhere.
Anonymous

Thanks Lynne, I’ll pass along the kudos! Skating is it’s own reward isn’t it. What an amazing sport.
Anonymous

Love the card idea. I used to leave little notes and snowflakes my IceBoy’s lunch when he was in Kindergarten. Haha, what a great memory. I stopped when he was in 2nd (?) grade and the kids started to tease him because they thought it was from a girlfriend LOL.

More notes and cards would be great.
Anonymous

If I had a girl, I could put a crystal on a dress for each jump earned…that would be a nice (relatively) cheap reward option LOL.

Hey, hurry up and land those jumps, your costume is only half covered with crystals…

But really, skating at a higher level is it’s own reward isn’t it?!
Anonymous

I wish my mom would have taken piano away if I misbehaved. I’d have been such a devil… LOL

I’m so glad for this blog because we all “get it” don’t we

“the celebration or recognition is a nice icing on the cake they’ve already baked.”
–love this metaphor!
Anonymous

haha, I told my IceBoy to tell his coach that he should have incentive of $100 ripped in half when he is close to landing his first quad. inflation don’t you know…
Anonymous

You’ll get your axel more consistent soon. It sounds like you are a really hard worker. I hope that you will get your wish of more lesson time too. Good luck!

Remember that the axel is just another jump, a skill that you will learn. Make friends with it, one day it will just click and you’ll find it very easy. You are jumping the axel, you have the power, not the other way around. Good luck, I look forward to hearing where you choose for dinner/lunch with your coach!
Jozet

“But really, skating at a higher level is it’s own reward isn’t it?!”

Absolutely! To work and test through the ranks and be one of the Big Kids on the ice (even if really still a little kid) is a real source self-esteem for any skater.

My daughter is struggling a bit with arms (of all things) on jumps. She really needs to control where her arms are all through the jump, and of course, up until now she’s been able to get away with being a bit “sloppy” and still land jumps. Well, physics doesn’t allow for as much variation in some skating elements – or, at least – she needs to start with a strong basic before “getting fancy”. It’s frustrating to her. The other day I reminded her how much time it took on the axel and it felt like skating just stopped at this jump for her. Then, she got it. And it wasn’t like taking another step – it was like taking ten steps, running through a door, and entering this whole new amazing world of experience and possibility on the ice that wasn’t available to her before. When she gets her arms figured out and her doubles get more consistent, I know she’ll take off again…and what a feeling that will be!
NYSk8erMom

I also give rewards. When DS was skating, it took him FOREVER to get out of a specific level. Once he passed, we celebrated with banana splits (that’s what he asked for). When DD completed all of the basic skating levels, we purchased her the much wanted Zuca bag in her color of choice. DD will be completing her first test next month for the FSA (pre-juv). I’ve “heard” that as long as you do all the moves, you’ll pass. She’s been working on this for months! It’s a HUGE deal for her because it means that she can then compete. She wants to do this and I’m not pushing her to do it. I was going to wait until she finished all of her freeskate levels to give her the gift I will give her if she passes the test. A Chloe Noel outfit – something she’s been wanting for a long time!
Maria

My skater is a beginner (in Basic 4 right now). So far, we have never given any rewards for sckating. She is also taking swimming classes, and with swimming we have a tradition of going out every time she passes a level (she loves to eat out). But when she passes a level in skating, all I do is give her a high five. I am not sure why it just never occured to me to go out or give any other reward… May be because she loves skating so much, that going to the rink and taking classes and private lessons is a reward already? She just doesn’t seem to need any other rewards. But thank for the idea nevertheless!
Skaterbabs

We make a point of linking DD’s reward to her hard work. Most things come very easy for her, so she tends to balk at anything that requires effort. So, we don’t reward accomplishments so much as effort. Last weekend she won first place in a local competition, her second of her skating career, with the most fantastic performance we’ve ever seen from her. We made a point of treating her to lunch when we returned home, and praising her hard work, not her placement. Right now she enjoys receiving medals, and isn’t terribly wrapped up in what color they happen to be, but she’s starting to learn that hard work is the key. Works for me.
http://icemom.net Ice Mom

Skaterbabs, it’s like you read my favorite cognitive psychologist’s work. Daniel Willingham writes about how we think and how we learn. He says that current research in cognitive psychology says that praising hare work rather than intelligence brings students much further along. Intelligence, he says, is a false concept. I bet he’d say the same about talent, too.

Work boots. That’s what it’s all about.