Too Scared to Jump. Should I Quit Figure Skating?

Today’s problem comes from L.A., a junior-level figure skater who injured herself on a jump.

Basically what happened was I got injured over the summer – I was just starting to get confident with my double Axel, so I got over excited and somehow landed one too hard and the majority of the bones in my foot shattered. Everybody was confused as to exactly how it happened, but it did and I was off of the ice until the beginning of December.

Physically I recovered really well but I think I’m messed up mentally now as far as jumps are concerned. On my first day back, I skated around a little bit, and started doing spins and spirals like I’d never been away, so my coach suggested I try a jump – and I couldn’t do it. It’s like the second she mentioned it, I froze up. It sounds dramatic and kinda like a bad pun but I couldn’t help thinking of the last time I’d jumped and I just couldn’t move. I tried a few times that lesson but nothing improved, I kept popping and psyching myself out of the jumps if you will, so my coach and my parents (who were watching from the stands) decided it was better for me to take it one step at a time.

But after a couple of days when I still couldn’t even try any jumps, even the easier ones, my parents started getting frustrated with me. They asked why I wasn’t trying, and they said I was letting them and myself down. They kept saying that I’d waited so long to skate again so why couldn’t I be satisfied now I could. What they don’t get is how much I want to jump again, it’s just that I have this crazy fear now. My parents asked my coach the other day if I’d ever be able to jump again, and she said it was a psychological thing and that it was up to me to get my thoughts straight, so right now I’m thinking it’s virtually impossible that I ever will. I said this, and my dad said he and my mom might pull me out of skating, since they obviously pay the coaching bills, competition fees, costumes etc. as well as supporting me and being there for me in practice and at competitions, and there’s no point in them wasting their time and money, so I was thinking, are they right to want me to quit? I just don’t want to let anybody down.

L.A., you’re not letting anyone down. Whatever decision you make needs to be right for you. Don’t accept pressure from anyone around you to skate or not skate.

That said, it sounds like you really want to skate and jump. You need a mental reset. L.A., you’re not alone. Ice Girl has been working on the mental reset since September. She still hasn’t worked on the jump that earned her eight stitches on her face. Every time she tries, she replays the whole falling thing again and can’t do it. That’s fine with me. She has other jumps to work on. If she never lands that jump, I’m totally fine with it. She’s a good human being and I’m proud of her.

She’s frustrated, though. She knows that people at the rink look at her and wonder why she’s stuck. The stitches are gone and no one understands that she deals with this enormous fear.

Here’s what’s helped her:

Start jumping as soon as possible. She was back on the ice the day after the fall and jumping the following day. Sure, she wasn’t doing that scary jump, but she was working on other things.
Off-ice jumps. Bring back the old muscle memory. When confidence fails you, maybe your muscles won’t. Perhaps going into the jump isn’t feeling natural anymore. Work it until it does.
Visualization. Couple the off-ice jumps with a visualization of you jumping on the ice and succeeding. Then tell yourself Good job or something similar. Visualize yourself jumping and landing the jump when you’re in practice and when you have some downtime. Make your mind believe that it can do the jumps. If you’re replaying the jump-and-fall footage over and over, consciously turn off the movie projector and reload the film to a time when you landed the jump.
Soundtrack. Sometimes our heads aren’t helping our bodies succeed. If you’re going into the jump and your mind is freaking out, give it something very dull to focus on. I’m not a coach, so I can’t give you the words, but you could narrate the parts of the jump in your head. Up-pull in-rotate-out-landing-hold it. That’s probably not exactly what you would say to yourself, but you get the idea.
Positive thinking. When you catch yourself saying a can’t message or having a fear message, consciously replace it with a can message. For example, when your coach asks you to work on a jump, shut down the fear and can’t messages with an inner pep talk. Figure out what the pep talk will be in advance of your practice, so you’ll have it ready.
Ask for more positive talk. All of the positive self talk won’t do any good if you think it’s all a lie. Tell your coach what you need and don’t feel ashamed to ask for it. I’m betting you need someone else to be the positive, confident voice you used to have in your head. Ever potty trained a dog or a kid? Let me tell you, every tinkle in the right spot is cause for a potty party. It’s a big celebration and pretty over-the-top. The thing is, it works. The kid or dog actually looks forward to going potty. That’s what you need your coach to do. If your coach isn’t there, have Mom or Dad be the positive voice for you.
No time to bleed. Negative messages, from yourself, your parents, or your coach, don’t move you forward. They just magnify the doubt and fear in your own head and add to that negative soundtrack. Don’t focus on what went wrong in a lesson or practice. Focus on what’s right, even if it’s just small stuff. On the ride home, make a list of five things that went well and put it in your skating binder. Even if it’s a baby step toward your goal, write it down.
Subcontract the message. This really isn’t something you can do, L.A., but I’ve totally done it with Ice Girl. She brought The Boyfriend to practice and I sat with him in the stands to tell him what he was looking at on the ice and to manipulate him. I told him that Ice Girl’s jumps are really high and rotated, but her landings are awful. It’s a confidence thing, I told him. And then, as I had hoped, he trotted off to repeat my message. Yes, it’s manipulative, but boy, did it work. Ice Girl had some really confident practices. I asked her what had made the difference and she told me that The Boyfriend had said some positive things to her. Of course, they were my positive things, but I didn’t let her know that.

L.A., this isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a start. I’m sure that it’s a matter of time and confidence until you are skating like you had skated last summer. It’s just January. Get the feel of the ice under your blades and tell yourself you can do it. After all, you’ve done it before, right? Good luck. I’m rooting for you.

Do you have any advice for L.A.? Is she letting anyone down if she doesn’t work on that Double Axel? Should she quit or should she stick with it? What might help her conquer her fear of jumping? What advice would you give L.A.’s parents or coach?

Thanks, L.A., for sharing this question. If you have a question for Ice Mom or a dilemma for the Advisory Board, let me know. If you have a suggestion for a blog post you’d like to read, e-mail me that, too! I’m going through my e-mails, but I’m behind. I’ll get to them all, though, I promise! IceMom.Diane@gmail.com

Photo credits:

IMG_0766: celineon / Celine O’Neill

1. Fears: Stephen Brace

No Fear: The 5th Ape / Jamie Campbell

Helicopter Mom

I’m wondering if L.A. had any physical therapy? My daughter broke her ankle this fall and was in a cast for 8 weeks followed by another 3 weeks in a brace and if she had been expected to just skate after all that, she never would have tried to jump! But they sent her to P.T. where the therapist worked with her to strengthen her muscles and tendons. They also had her use a trampoline for awhile and then she did all her jumps off-ice before she even put on her skates again. Once she was back skating and she had done all her single jumps, the coach said he would have her do her axel (the jump she fell on) and her double sal on the harness before she could try them on her own. It turned out to be a good way to get started. She was scared to try her axel again until he told her she had to wait (until her next lesson) and then she got really eager to try it so he came in and gave her a lesson right away so she could try (while she wasn’t scared). We are lucky that the axel and double sal have come back strong but she’s still working on getting her double toe and double loop. But without the physical therapy, she could not have done any of it. So I would suggest that L.A. finds a physical therapist who knows a little about skating and gets her confidence in her jumps back off-ice. I’m sure her parents are frustrated but it can’t be anything compared to what L.A. is feeling. As a skating mom, I didn’t realize how afraid I was that my daughter would never be able to do an axel again until she did it, and I was filled with such a rush of joy and relief… I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, L.A.!! (Also, it may not be just a psychological thing – your muscles may not be strong enough yet and your mind may be protecting you by not letting you jump!)
figuresk8r77

I know an older skater with a similar problem. She is one of my coache’s students, and she’s a really nice skater. The problem is very similar — she tried an axel 3, maybe more years ago (?) and her confidence was shattered. My coach told me that she even did physical therapy for a few years, but she still can’t get it. But she moved on… She does exhibitions now (I think) with single jumps. Even though she doesn’t have her axel, her programs are really nice. She has passed up to her junior MIF test, I think so she is a beautiful skater. Her programs are elegant and she has great speed. Her spins are also really nice. I think that sometimes its good to take a break and focus on your strengths. Just the other day I saw her working on her axel. My coach has some new techniques that are helping her, but it’s still her decision. I think that taking a break and moving on is a good thing and maybe you’ll get the jump back soon.
http://www.halushki.com/ Josette at Halushki

My kiddo was having a tough time with a jump that was ending each time in a big fall on the ice. It was an either-or for a long time: either rotate the jump, but land on her butt, or not fully rotate the jump, but land standing up. Her coach was just blunt in saying that the rotation part had to come first for this particular jump.

But each day on the ice was harder and harder until she physically, mentally, couldn’t skate into the jump.

Actually, what helped her was something Xanboni suggested: my daughter had to attempt the jump five times ( or 8 time or 3 times, whichever worked) no more, no less. It was a simple thing, but seemed to be a big relief for her. No matter what, she only had to attempt it 3 times and then stop, move on to something else. If it wasn’t going well, she only had to get through three attempts, give herself a high five, and move on. If she was doing well, she still didn’t continue – this worked to prevent her from getting over-confident as well as giving her a bit of “aw shucks” if she really wanted to continue. It made her look forward to doing it again next time.

You might not be ready for this right away – and maybe it won’t work well for you, I don’t know – but just thought I’d toss it into the idea pile.
Anonymous

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -John Wooden

Baby steps. The key here is baby steps. My IceBoy has had two major injuries and three off the ice periods for recovery times this past season. He just had surgery and is not currently back on the ice yet, so he has had to recover his jumps twice and soon three times.

Coming back from the second injury was the hardest because he popped out of a single jump during a warm up (he had all but his 2A in double jumps at that time) and crashed, and badly injured himself, so he had that loop in his head running. Once he was back on the ice, he went through a period of being afraid. He was doing the jumps, but when it came to the doubles, he was holding back.

One thing you can’t do is hold back. It is not safe. Either jump all the way or don’t jump at all (until you are ready). Eventually, with time and with a lot of focused mental work he lost the fear and gained a 2A and double combos along with all the double jumps he had to recover.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

What we did was think about the pros and cons. If he held back during the jump because of fear, there is a good chance he would injure himself again (body tight, wonky position, you name it). If he went for it and jumped without hesitation, then there is a great chance he would land it and less chance to get injured. He chose to go for it.

He really wanted to jump again, so he did it in baby steps. We read a lot of inspirational quotes, and books like “the mind gym” and stories about Olympic athletes, or elite athletes who overcame injuries or hardships to perform excellently. Lots of visualization of landing the jump and slowly replacing the crash tape with jumps landed tapes.

Your coach will know best how to help you. If you have a harness, that might be a good place to start. The suggestion for off ice work is excellent as well.

“Your body hears everything your mind says.” – Naomi Judd

Do the mental work though, pump yourself up, post positive messages to yourself on the bathroom mirror. “I take off and land with ease”. “I am strong and sure in my jumps”. You already learned your double jumps, your muscle memory is there and your ability is there. You will jump again.

PT, yes, that should have been done. If it hasn’t been done, see to it.

Parents: need to support you. I was in a car accident and for years afterward I freaked out when I saw brake lights on a car in front of me while going fast in the rain. It got better over time and it will for you. It’s a real issue, they need to know that you are not making it up, the mental block is real. It’s just human nature, instinct for our brain to protect our body. But the mind is flexible, you can teach it new ways to think and act.

I’ve never known anybody to achieve anything without overcoming adversity. - Lou Holtz

Tell your parents that skating is so much (80%?) mental, your body has healed, now you have to heal your mind. If you need to go to a sports psychologist, do it. Your work will be easier with professional support. Tell your parents that overcoming this challenge will help you in your life, not just in skating. It is a good investment for them. An investment in you.

Your parents might think that threatening to remove skating from your life will motivate you to work harder, just like taking away a cell phone is supposed to make you behave, but explain to them that this is not quite so simple. It’s a mental/psychological block that you have to work through.

Skate for fun, skate for yourself. Take your time, rally your support around you. Surround yourself with positive people and get your parent on the same page. They love you, they just don’t understand how to best support you yet. It might be scary for them to think that you might not jump again and they know how much skating means to you. Show them this blog so that maybe they can understand a little better. Or write them a letter.

Go back to when you started skating, find the reasons you loved to skate, why you stuck with it for so long and try to recapture that magic.

Your jumps will come. It won’t be easy, but then again…

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard everyone would do it. It’s the hard that makes it good” – Tom Hanks

Good luck!!!
A.P.

I can totally understand where you are coming from. I’m an adult skater and before I had my kids I had a real good loop jump! Now I’m so scared that I will fall and hurt myself that I don’t even want to try. I still love to skate, but it’s hard to remember that I could do these jumps…I can still do them (in my dreams)
Anonymous

I agree that physical therapy, sports psychology, and starting jumps with the harness (like you are doing it for the first time) are probably good methods so that things start to feel normal again.

I think all skaters (even if they don’t have a major accident) have at least one thing that freaks them out. I think baby steps are the way to go. Set up goals and make a check list. In the beginning make a list of number of attempts (3-5) for each single jump (and maybe just do waltz jumps instead of axel, as that is the problem jump here), then increase that (5-10). Then say that you have to try 10 times or land 1-3 good jumps, whichever happens first. Then, once that is consistent, you work up to the double jumps (and single axel), again with the attempts until things are consistent. When those things are good, try the double axel again (with a harness) until you feel ready to jump without one. If you are also doing therapy (physical and mental) at the same time, then hopefully this will help things get better faster. I think if you show your parents the checklist, and show them what you are working on and why you are working on things that they feel should be basic for you then maybe they will understand that you do want to keep skating and that you are working your way back into jumping, but that you just need a little more time to get back up to your previous training schedule. Also, as you have had a major injury it is probably best to start with the basics anyway, since your body hasn’t been able to train much recently.
Karen <3

That’s rough about your son. He’s obviously suffered quite a bit. I hope he recovers well from the surgery and gets back on the ice with no problems. I wish L.A. the best too. She’s totally strong enough to overcome this – she survived until junior level in figure skating, right??!!!! Lol. xx
Anonymous Skater

I love the idea of taking a harness lesson (as some posters have proposed). The muscle memory is still there.
Guest

I totally feel for LA. In breaking her foot she didn’t have that opportunity to get straight back on the horse.
One thing that strikes me is that there’s been a long break from the ice in recovering. I’d imagine that a lot of skills are rusty not just the jumps. Taking the time to get everything else back up to speed will help the jumps. Use the psychological issues for a positive and work on moves and spins and the other stuff. And go back and start at the beginning with the jumps. Work on basic technique while not feeding the fear.
With regards to the fear of jumping. I survived a serious head on car crash. If I close my eyes I can easily replay the incident, however, I’ve had to get back behind the wheel of the car. Courage is in facing the fear. Being afraid is perfectly acceptable and it’s good that you and your coach are acknowledging it. Personally I wouldn’t take the easy option your parents are presenting of quitting. What will make you a better person is being able to learn how to face your fear and conquer it, because it might be jumping today, but tomorrow it might be something a whole lot larger and significant to life. Work with you coach to help get past this road block. You will succeed. However, you have to force yourself to face your fears and trust your body and your rational mind.
Hsra

I broke my leg on a double loop. I did get right back into skating after I got out of the cast and had clearance to skate, and I did get back all my jumps and more, but I avoided that one jump for a really long time. Months and months. Eventually I tried it again, but it was a VERY long time before I trusted it. I could always remember slipping off the edge and what happened after. It gets better tiny bit by tiny bit. Just give yourself time!
Hsra

I broke my leg on a double loop. I did get right back into skating after I got out of the cast and had clearance to skate, and I did get back all my jumps and more, but I avoided that one jump for a really long time. Months and months. Eventually I tried it again, but it was a VERY long time before I trusted it. I could always remember slipping off the edge and what happened after. It gets better tiny bit by tiny bit. Just give yourself time!
Italk24 7

LA, my suggestion to you would be to try working on your jumps off the ice, so you get used to jumping again. I think this would really help you boost your confidence if you are at least landing your double’s off the ice cleanly.
Ron Kaiser

Hi,
I’m a Canadian Coach who has been teaching for 30 years. I deal with this fear on a regular basis. I suggest that you try doing the jump you fear in a harness for awhile. This will help you recover your muscle memory safely and to test out how your foot feels coming down from a higher height. Go on the harness not just once but many times over the course of days or weeks. Eventually once your confidence is back you should be able to attempt the jump without the harness. All you need to do is one without the harness and you should be just fine after that!
I hope this suggestion helps. good luck!
Ron K
Summerteen

A week ago I fell on my head and cut above my eyebrow on a triple loop throw and now I’m scared of falling on my head again, because I got concussion and I’ve already had concussion before. People tell me it would be dangerous to fall on my head again and I’m thinking of quitting. I’m just worried I’ll regret it later in life. I also had a chance to go to the Olympics in Sochi, in 2014, in pairs, for spain. I’m off the ice resting at the moment and I’m not missing it yet but I don’t know if I will later and it might be too late. I started when I was 6 and now I’m 15. Maybe I should quit pairs skating and continue with singles? I fell when I was younger on my head doing a double salchow and I got a mental blockage and I just started getting over it recently. I’m working on double axel and I’ve got all my doubles and in combination (double + double +double, etc.) I quit single skating recently but I was in novice before.

I don’t know what to do. I also want to be and actress and go to college, so maybe I wouldn’t miss skating but I feel like it’s part of me, because I’ve been skating nearly 10 years. Please help me. Should I quit or just quit pairs, because I’m too scared to do the triple throws?